hanorganaas: (sw: han solo)
hanorganaas ([personal profile] hanorganaas) wrote in [community profile] fandomweekly2017-05-22 01:52 pm
Entry tags:

the feeling of coming up for air after drowning [ star wars ]

Theme Prompt: #042 – White Noise
Title: the feeling of coming up for air after drowning
Fandom: star wars
Rating/Warnings:mature content
Bonus: yes
Word Count: 813
Summary: Kylo Ren is not used to silence. It's almost frightening to him. But he finds something in the silence that seems to calm him.

Chaos, that was something Kylo Ren was used to. He was born in the twilight of the Battle against the Empire. Everyone was after him, the Emperor, Jabba the Hutt, anyone who hated his parents. His father even claimed he was abducted a few times by enemies. But the war ended and there was even more chaos.

Ren couldn’t even remember a quiet time. Of course there was Snoke, his almost ever constant in his head, guiding him...leading him down the right path ever since Ren was a child. He was often there, though as he got older it was there less often. Still not having him there, was just odd.

When Snoke wasn’t there, it was Ren’s mother making the noise. Mother was, how could he put it, mentally unwell. She exhibited “strange” behavior. Sometimes she would stay in bed for days on end and cry for unexplainable reasons.Those days in the middle of the night, mother would wake up screaming. She would run from room to room making sure “the Empire didn’t take her children” though it had been dead for years. Then there was the periods of time where she acted, erratic. She would be impulsive. From running in their backyard of the Corellian home naked, and sprinkling glitter on all who passed by, to laughing uncontrollably for some strange reason.

Father had often said it was from the war, and the constant pressure of being the Legendary Heroine. No, it was denial that, as Ren believed, she was evil.

The point was, the room was absolutely silent. There wasn’t even any sound from machinery or wind from the outside of the base. It was frightening knowing how fucking calm it was for once. This was supposed to be normal to the average human being, but it wasn’t. He began to feel panic rising in his chest. He needed a noise. Something disturbing in order to thrive.

There was a deep sigh that broke him out of the panic. He felt a foot brushing against his leg. Ren quickly turned his head to find the source of the sound.

“Mitt,” He whispered in a voice barely audible.

Hux or Mitt as he called him, was curled into his side. His body was still intertwined with his, Ren knew this by the way he still felt warm heat against his hardness. The general’s head was tucked in his shoulder, pale fingers occasionally twitched against Ren’s chest. Ren never really saw Hux smile but he could see thin lips twitched upwards.

Ren felt a grin forming on his own face as he remembered that just hours ago they made love for the first time. It was a spontaneous thing, that had been building and building until finally during a petty little argument until finally everything exploded. Clothes were ripped off. Hand roamed bodies. The feeling of tight heat engulfed Ren like a warm blanket.

It had been just had as Father described it when he taught Ren the logistics of Human sexuality, back when he still called Ben Solo. It was like shooting into the sky were gravity didn’t exist and one was just calm.

It was the first time Ren could ever remember feeling happiness. That nothing could touch him. No voice in his head to ruin the moment. Despite the fact he knew how dangerous this was, it was nice just to feel normal….and above all. Peace, like he had been drowning in water and now he was coming up for air.

Suddenly the room wasn’t so quiet. Ren could hear one thing about the Silence ringing in his ears: breathing coming from his lover. It was a gentle sound. Something slow, like the waves on the beaches of Corellia. In and out, a steady pattern ever continuous and constant. And just like the sound of the waves in the ocean or a lullaby his father used to sing to him….it seemed to be the one thing that calmed him from the chaos of his life.

Ren’s eyes became heavy as he pulled Hux closer. His fingers traced his lover’s spine and his bicep. The General stirred and snuggled deeper.

“I was wondering when you would do that,” He murmured against the Knight’s neck.

“Hush now,” Ren whispered putting a finger against the General’s lips, “sleep.”

He blocked out all sounds as the breathing started once again. He channeled on the sound of air flowing into lungs before leaving again. He saw colors dance before his eyes in circles in waves like ocean as each muscle of his body, tense from anger, relaxed. The only thing he could think of before all thoughts disappeared was, how for once in his life, a quiet and calm noise could bring him such...peace.

And like a lullaby, the breathing of his lover drifted Kylo Ren off to slumber.

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