[#040] Expedience (Torchwood)

[badly_knitted]

Theme Prompt: [#040] – Quick And Dirty
Title: Expedience
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating/Warnings: PG / None.
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 499
Summary: Andy gets initiated into one of the less pleasant aspects of Torchwood’s work.



The Cardiff Police have it easy compared to Torchwood. They have laws to uphold, rules and regulations on how to behave, codes of conduct governing how they’re expected to treat the criminals they arrest. That’s the way it should be, although sometimes Ianto wonders if certain criminals deserve to have their human rights upheld. The cannibals from a few years ago for instance; they didn’t uphold the rights of their human victims.

Torchwood’s rules and regulations are more vague. Treat friendly aliens with respect, but when unfriendlies show up, which they inevitably do, shoot first and aim to kill. It takes a bit of getting used to.

Andy’s only been with Torchwood for two weeks; everything’s new to him, so he hunkers down beside Ianto, behind a convenient wall. “What are those things?” he whispers.

“Xenebrians,” Ianto replies. “Nasty buggers, intergalactic drug dealers, members of the Kloosh Cartel. The drugs they peddle are highly addictive, and often fatal to humans, but the Cartel doesn’t care. They’re only interested in making a profit.”

“Drug dealers? Shouldn’t we arrest them then?”

“Human laws don’t apply to other species,” Ianto pointed out, “so we deal with them on their own terms.”

“How’s that then?”

“Fast and dirty.” Ianto’s smile is vicious, his eyes cold and hard, not at all like the genial, good-natured man Andy’s used to. Before Andy can say another word, Ianto is on his feet and firing, not at the aliens but at their small shuttle. He empties his clip into it and ducks back down behind the wall, pulling Andy with him, just as there’s a massive explosion, complete with fireball. “Hopefully the locals will buy the ‘gas leak causes explosion’ explanation again,” he comments wryly as he slams in another clip. Then he’s on his feet again, peering over the wall. Andy follows suit, which is ironically literal. Who but Ianto Jones would do this kind of work in a bespoke three-piece? Somehow it makes the situation even more shocking.

Of the seven Xenebrians they’d seen before, only three are still standing, more or less, although they’re all oozing thick, greenish blood, if you can call it that. The other four have been taken out by the blast. Ianto doesn’t hesitate, gunning down the last three, one after another, then approaching and making sure they’re dead. A bullet to the head will do that.

Ianto calls Andy over to assist with cleanup, which in this case means rolling the bodies closer to the burning shuttle to ensure they’ll burn up in the blaze. A couple of alien incendiary grenades help things along, making the fire burn white hot; by the time the fire brigade gets there, nothing remotely identifiable will be left. That’s just the way Torchwood likes it.

“Did you have to kill them?”

“Sending them away doesn’t work, they just come back somewhere else. This way may not be pretty, but it’s effective, and it saves lives.”

In the end, Andy supposes that’s what matters.


The End