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fandomweekly2017-10-23 03:13 pm
iluvroadrunner6) wrote in fandomweekly2017-10-23 03:13 pm
Entry tags:
[#046] Like Diamonds in Her Eyes (Mindhunter)
Theme Prompt: #046 – Fool’s Gold
Title: Like Diamonds in Her Eyes
Fandom: Mindhunter
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 | Spoilers through Episode 6
Bonus: Yes.
Word Count: 879
Summary: Wendy grapples with the direction of her career and her relationships.
“I had the most interesting conversation today.”
Annaliese is at the dinner table grading papers as Wendy cleans up the dishes from dinner, engrossed in work as always. Her work ethic is one of the things she loves about her, a kind of dedication to understand the human mind that doesn’t come along very often in another person, let alone a woman. Still, she manages to lift her eyes just enough to let Wendy know she has her attention before she speaks.
“Oh really? I thought you had another consultation with Special Agent Tench.”
“I did. And he and his partner are working on a very interesting study on some of the more … infamous murderers of recent years. They’re actually going to the prisons and discussing their processes with them. The laboratory conditions are almost near perfect.” Wendy turns off the water and dries her hands for a moment, turning and leaning against the sink as she faces her partner. “If they proceed as intended they could find out some very interesting information about the inner workings of psychopaths and what makes these killers so different from the titans of industry that I’m studying in my work.”
“Are they proceeding with a study?” The tone is a bit distant, almost as though she’s not quite listening completely, but there’s a part of Wendy that’s used to that at this point.
“They’re trying but they’re being restricted by FBI red tape. It’s a shame really. They could do great things with it if they had the time.”
“Yes. Such a shame.”
Wendy doesn’t give the dismissal much thought at the time, as it’s not a project she’s involved in, but later, all it reminds her of is the beginning of the end.
* * * * *
“When are you coming home?”
There’s a frustration in Annaliese’s voice is evident, even over the phone, and Wendy doesn’t really know what to tell her. When she’s in the moment, in the office, she finds herself sucked in a way she hasn’t experienced on any previous project. Tench is detached enough to keep them both grounded and remind them that these are people, not just lab rats, and Holden, Holden is bright and intuitive and eager to learn in a way she hadn’t anticipated.
This project is going somewhere. She just doesn’t know how to tell her partner about it.
“I don’t know,” she admits honestly. “There’s a great deal of data to parse through, and while these men are intuitive they’re not true psychologists. There’s still some hand holding that needs to be done.”
“I warned you about this when you agreed to consult on a more long term basis. That it was going to be far more work that you should be handling when you’re applying for tenure.”
“I remember what you said,” Wendy sighs softly, leaning back against the headboard of her hotel bed and wishing she was in her own. “I’ll try and come home this weekend.”
“For good?”
“I don’t know.” It’s the same noncommittal statement, but part of her can’t help but feel that her place is here, with the FBI. That the work they’re doing here may matter more than tenure.
“Think about your future, Wendy. Think about our future.”
She hangs up, and Wendy can’t help but wonder why the idea of a mutual future doesn’t quite fit.
* * * * *
Annaliese thinks that the matter has been decided.
She thinks that Wendy will follow her lead, study respectable subjects and get tenure, settle into a safe life of academia and monotony all to preserve their relationship, and maybe in some ways she’s right. Maybe in some ways, that would be the safer thing to do. But at this point in her career, Wendy isn’t looking for safe.
If she’s being entirely honest with herself, she was never looking for safe. She wants to do work that’s going to change the world, and if Annaliese can’t see that, then maybe her work isn’t the thing that lacks value at the moment. Maybe it’s her partner she should be questioning.
Annaliese rests her hand over Wendy’s, holding it tightly, almost as though the older woman is afraid she’s going to slip away into the ether, but all Wendy can think of is it being the shackle that is keeping her here and keeping her from following her passion. The din of the restaurant fades around them, and she suddenly feels the resolve that usually comes when a decision has been made. She pulls her hand out, gets up from the table, and leaves the restaurant without a second glance.
The decision has never been easy, no decision of this magnitude ever is, but Wendy knows this is a risk worth taking. Better to be on the cusp of something that will change the world, rather than being left in the dust. She goes back to their apartment one last time, picks up the phone, and dials Director Shepard’s number as though she can’t even feel the tug of the dial as it slides against her finger.
“Director Shepard? It’s Dr. Carr. I’m sorry to be calling so late, but I wanted to accept your offer. When would you like me to start?”
Title: Like Diamonds in Her Eyes
Fandom: Mindhunter
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 | Spoilers through Episode 6
Bonus: Yes.
Word Count: 879
Summary: Wendy grapples with the direction of her career and her relationships.
“I had the most interesting conversation today.”
Annaliese is at the dinner table grading papers as Wendy cleans up the dishes from dinner, engrossed in work as always. Her work ethic is one of the things she loves about her, a kind of dedication to understand the human mind that doesn’t come along very often in another person, let alone a woman. Still, she manages to lift her eyes just enough to let Wendy know she has her attention before she speaks.
“Oh really? I thought you had another consultation with Special Agent Tench.”
“I did. And he and his partner are working on a very interesting study on some of the more … infamous murderers of recent years. They’re actually going to the prisons and discussing their processes with them. The laboratory conditions are almost near perfect.” Wendy turns off the water and dries her hands for a moment, turning and leaning against the sink as she faces her partner. “If they proceed as intended they could find out some very interesting information about the inner workings of psychopaths and what makes these killers so different from the titans of industry that I’m studying in my work.”
“Are they proceeding with a study?” The tone is a bit distant, almost as though she’s not quite listening completely, but there’s a part of Wendy that’s used to that at this point.
“They’re trying but they’re being restricted by FBI red tape. It’s a shame really. They could do great things with it if they had the time.”
“Yes. Such a shame.”
Wendy doesn’t give the dismissal much thought at the time, as it’s not a project she’s involved in, but later, all it reminds her of is the beginning of the end.
“When are you coming home?”
There’s a frustration in Annaliese’s voice is evident, even over the phone, and Wendy doesn’t really know what to tell her. When she’s in the moment, in the office, she finds herself sucked in a way she hasn’t experienced on any previous project. Tench is detached enough to keep them both grounded and remind them that these are people, not just lab rats, and Holden, Holden is bright and intuitive and eager to learn in a way she hadn’t anticipated.
This project is going somewhere. She just doesn’t know how to tell her partner about it.
“I don’t know,” she admits honestly. “There’s a great deal of data to parse through, and while these men are intuitive they’re not true psychologists. There’s still some hand holding that needs to be done.”
“I warned you about this when you agreed to consult on a more long term basis. That it was going to be far more work that you should be handling when you’re applying for tenure.”
“I remember what you said,” Wendy sighs softly, leaning back against the headboard of her hotel bed and wishing she was in her own. “I’ll try and come home this weekend.”
“For good?”
“I don’t know.” It’s the same noncommittal statement, but part of her can’t help but feel that her place is here, with the FBI. That the work they’re doing here may matter more than tenure.
“Think about your future, Wendy. Think about our future.”
She hangs up, and Wendy can’t help but wonder why the idea of a mutual future doesn’t quite fit.
Annaliese thinks that the matter has been decided.
She thinks that Wendy will follow her lead, study respectable subjects and get tenure, settle into a safe life of academia and monotony all to preserve their relationship, and maybe in some ways she’s right. Maybe in some ways, that would be the safer thing to do. But at this point in her career, Wendy isn’t looking for safe.
If she’s being entirely honest with herself, she was never looking for safe. She wants to do work that’s going to change the world, and if Annaliese can’t see that, then maybe her work isn’t the thing that lacks value at the moment. Maybe it’s her partner she should be questioning.
Annaliese rests her hand over Wendy’s, holding it tightly, almost as though the older woman is afraid she’s going to slip away into the ether, but all Wendy can think of is it being the shackle that is keeping her here and keeping her from following her passion. The din of the restaurant fades around them, and she suddenly feels the resolve that usually comes when a decision has been made. She pulls her hand out, gets up from the table, and leaves the restaurant without a second glance.
The decision has never been easy, no decision of this magnitude ever is, but Wendy knows this is a risk worth taking. Better to be on the cusp of something that will change the world, rather than being left in the dust. She goes back to their apartment one last time, picks up the phone, and dials Director Shepard’s number as though she can’t even feel the tug of the dial as it slides against her finger.
“Director Shepard? It’s Dr. Carr. I’m sorry to be calling so late, but I wanted to accept your offer. When would you like me to start?”