estirose (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
estirose) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomweekly2019-06-17 05:48 pm
estirose) wrote in fandomweekly2019-06-17 05:48 pm
Entry tags:
[#018] Good to Go (Original)
Theme Prompt: #018 - Stages of Grief
Title: Good to Go
Fandom: Original
Rating/Warnings: PG / Mentions of death and dying
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 501
Summary: Things are getting hazy, but one woman is pondering whether she can let go and die.
She thought she heard her daughter singing "Come Ye Thankful People, Come" as she sluggishly woke up, but in her rational mind knew it wasn't possible. Her daughter lived several time zones and many hours away, and had gone home two weeks ago.
Opening her eyes confirmed it; nobody was there besides her. Maybe it was her subconscious telling her that it was time to let go; maybe it was a side effect of the cancer spreading to her brain, throwing up that memory of her daughter's beautiful voice as if she was hearing an angel sing.
But could she let go, accept that her life was over, and accept that it was time to go?
She'd done what she could. There had never been any denial that it was too late and that she was dying, just early on a bit of denial on how weak she'd gotten and how well her husband could care for her. Going to the hospice had made things so real. She'd done her taxes with her daughter's help. She'd canceled everything, tried to make sure her finances were in order, and lived one day at a time no matter how depressing it was to know she was dying. She'd talked to the chaplain, discussed theology with him, tried to reconcile the problem of evil that had always nagged at her and would never be resolved.
Her anger at the doctors who had failed to diagnose the cancer until it was too late had faded. She'd done her best to reassure her husband and her daughter that things would be okay without her, that they were wonderful people despite their faults, and that she had been blessed to have them both in her life.
After a moment, she remembered that it was a holiday where her daughter was.
Her daughter would have the day off; it might be easier if she could start grieving that day.
She made a prayer to God that her daughter wouldn't be too despondent, that her husband would be able to hold things together. She'd never asked for God to extend her life, for that went against everything she believed in.
One of the attendants knocked and she called for him to come in. The attendant asked how she felt and did she want breakfast. She told him that she didn't, but to call her husband and ask him to take a taxi over as the time was coming.
The words didn't come out smoothly but she somehow managed to speak them, and the attendant promised her that he would call and let her husband know.
She could hang on a little bit longer until he was there and she could say goodbye one last time, tell him to tell their daughter. She wanted to sleep, but instead, she turned on the TV. It was a bit deadly dull, as her daughter had said, but it would keep her there until it was time.
And she was good with that.
Title: Good to Go
Fandom: Original
Rating/Warnings: PG / Mentions of death and dying
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 501
Summary: Things are getting hazy, but one woman is pondering whether she can let go and die.
She thought she heard her daughter singing "Come Ye Thankful People, Come" as she sluggishly woke up, but in her rational mind knew it wasn't possible. Her daughter lived several time zones and many hours away, and had gone home two weeks ago.
Opening her eyes confirmed it; nobody was there besides her. Maybe it was her subconscious telling her that it was time to let go; maybe it was a side effect of the cancer spreading to her brain, throwing up that memory of her daughter's beautiful voice as if she was hearing an angel sing.
But could she let go, accept that her life was over, and accept that it was time to go?
She'd done what she could. There had never been any denial that it was too late and that she was dying, just early on a bit of denial on how weak she'd gotten and how well her husband could care for her. Going to the hospice had made things so real. She'd done her taxes with her daughter's help. She'd canceled everything, tried to make sure her finances were in order, and lived one day at a time no matter how depressing it was to know she was dying. She'd talked to the chaplain, discussed theology with him, tried to reconcile the problem of evil that had always nagged at her and would never be resolved.
Her anger at the doctors who had failed to diagnose the cancer until it was too late had faded. She'd done her best to reassure her husband and her daughter that things would be okay without her, that they were wonderful people despite their faults, and that she had been blessed to have them both in her life.
After a moment, she remembered that it was a holiday where her daughter was.
Her daughter would have the day off; it might be easier if she could start grieving that day.
She made a prayer to God that her daughter wouldn't be too despondent, that her husband would be able to hold things together. She'd never asked for God to extend her life, for that went against everything she believed in.
One of the attendants knocked and she called for him to come in. The attendant asked how she felt and did she want breakfast. She told him that she didn't, but to call her husband and ask him to take a taxi over as the time was coming.
The words didn't come out smoothly but she somehow managed to speak them, and the attendant promised her that he would call and let her husband know.
She could hang on a little bit longer until he was there and she could say goodbye one last time, tell him to tell their daughter. She wanted to sleep, but instead, she turned on the TV. It was a bit deadly dull, as her daughter had said, but it would keep her there until it was time.
And she was good with that.