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fandomweekly2020-09-26 05:56 am
rivulet027) wrote in fandomweekly2020-09-26 05:56 am
Entry tags:
[#068] Tell Me About Despair (Star Wars)
Theme Prompt: #68-Masks
Title: Tell Me About Despair
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating/Warnings: PG
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 500
Summary: Post Revenge of the Sith, Pre A New Hope. A time traveling Luminara finds Obi-Wan.
Note: Title from the Mary Oliver Poem "Wild Geese"
Tell Me About Despair:
Luminara believes with a certainty that she can feel down to her bones that the Force needs her here. How else would she have been able to find Obi-Wan so easily? It should worry her, that he was so easy to find, and yet all she can feel is relief at the sight of him alive. He’s older than her now, but time travel will do that. His home is quaint, but warm and lived in. The vaporator is a steady background hum and his dewback makes occasional grunts as it shuffles in the sand outside.
“How?” Obi-Wan asks, wonder and suspicion on his face.
“Do you remember where I went after Barriss was found guilty of bombing the temple?”
“Yes, but when you didn’t come back we feared you’d been killed.” He takes a step towards her and pauses, as if he welcomes the sight of her, but also worries that it means she’s come to kill him. She wants to know who’s hurt him so badly that he can’t trust the sight of a friend he’s had since childhood.
“I was hoping to find the strength to work with Bariss, to try and help her find her way back to the light,” Luminara says.
Obi-Wan closes his eyes tightly, but he’s not judging her. No, this is pain. This is empathy. This is understanding. Luminara’s eyes widen. His gaze raises to meet hers. She wants to wrap her arms around him tightly.
Instead she takes a breath and continues her explanation, “I went to my favorite temple retreat, but when I left, I discovered that what for me felt like a few hours had been several years.”
“You could’ve been killed or worse.” He’s still hesitant.
“Worse. You mean Anakin. Is he Vader, then?”
“You know?”
Luminara takes a step closer, then reaches out so she can squeeze his hands. “I know about Palpatine declaring himself emperor. I’ve heard of Vader. Your pain is similar to mine and Anakin was friends with Palpatine and always had a flair for the big and bold so it would make sense.”
His hands tremble in her grip. He wets his lips and closes his eyes. “I keep wondering where I failed him.”
She leans on him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She remembers those questions. He sighs and leans against her, his hands fisting into the cloth of her robes.
“We didn’t,” she says, voice low. She presses a kiss to his brow. “They chose to wear masks over their pain and fears instead of asking for help or taking help when it was offered.”
“Thank you.”
She understands. It can be easier to believe truths that are spoken by another. His shoulders shake and she can feel her own tears start paths down her face. She rubs his back and shifts them over to a chair that fits them both. They hold each other close and cry. For now they’ll grieve. Later they’ll plan. She’ll need a new tattoo.
Title: Tell Me About Despair
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating/Warnings: PG
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 500
Summary: Post Revenge of the Sith, Pre A New Hope. A time traveling Luminara finds Obi-Wan.
Note: Title from the Mary Oliver Poem "Wild Geese"
Tell Me About Despair:
Luminara believes with a certainty that she can feel down to her bones that the Force needs her here. How else would she have been able to find Obi-Wan so easily? It should worry her, that he was so easy to find, and yet all she can feel is relief at the sight of him alive. He’s older than her now, but time travel will do that. His home is quaint, but warm and lived in. The vaporator is a steady background hum and his dewback makes occasional grunts as it shuffles in the sand outside.
“How?” Obi-Wan asks, wonder and suspicion on his face.
“Do you remember where I went after Barriss was found guilty of bombing the temple?”
“Yes, but when you didn’t come back we feared you’d been killed.” He takes a step towards her and pauses, as if he welcomes the sight of her, but also worries that it means she’s come to kill him. She wants to know who’s hurt him so badly that he can’t trust the sight of a friend he’s had since childhood.
“I was hoping to find the strength to work with Bariss, to try and help her find her way back to the light,” Luminara says.
Obi-Wan closes his eyes tightly, but he’s not judging her. No, this is pain. This is empathy. This is understanding. Luminara’s eyes widen. His gaze raises to meet hers. She wants to wrap her arms around him tightly.
Instead she takes a breath and continues her explanation, “I went to my favorite temple retreat, but when I left, I discovered that what for me felt like a few hours had been several years.”
“You could’ve been killed or worse.” He’s still hesitant.
“Worse. You mean Anakin. Is he Vader, then?”
“You know?”
Luminara takes a step closer, then reaches out so she can squeeze his hands. “I know about Palpatine declaring himself emperor. I’ve heard of Vader. Your pain is similar to mine and Anakin was friends with Palpatine and always had a flair for the big and bold so it would make sense.”
His hands tremble in her grip. He wets his lips and closes his eyes. “I keep wondering where I failed him.”
She leans on him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She remembers those questions. He sighs and leans against her, his hands fisting into the cloth of her robes.
“We didn’t,” she says, voice low. She presses a kiss to his brow. “They chose to wear masks over their pain and fears instead of asking for help or taking help when it was offered.”
“Thank you.”
She understands. It can be easier to believe truths that are spoken by another. His shoulders shake and she can feel her own tears start paths down her face. She rubs his back and shifts them over to a chair that fits them both. They hold each other close and cry. For now they’ll grieve. Later they’ll plan. She’ll need a new tattoo.
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I especially liked:
He takes a step towards her and pauses, as if he welcomes the sight of her, but also worries that it means she’s come to kill him. She wants to know who’s hurt him so badly that he can’t trust the sight of a friend he’s had since childhood.
Obi-Wan closes his eyes tightly, but he’s not judging her. No, this is pain. This is empathy. This is understanding. Luminara’s eyes widen.
and
His hands tremble in her grip. He wets his lips and closes his eyes. “I keep wondering where I failed him.”
She leans on him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She remembers those questions.
And the ending of the fic, where it's easier to believe when it comes from another person... I'm not even familiar with the importance of the new tattoo but that ending line still felt super important in a way I really enjoyed. I liked this one a lot!
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