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fandomweekly2024-02-16 03:12 pm
badly_knitted) wrote in fandomweekly2024-02-16 03:12 pm
Entry tags:
[#210] Not As Advertised (Torchwood)
Theme Prompt: #210 – Chaos
Title: Not As Advertised
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating/Warnings: PG
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 1000
Summary: Jack decides Ianto deserves a holiday, so he whisks him away to an idyllic planet. Naturally, things don’t quite go to plan.
“You work too hard,” Jack said, leaning on the counter in the tourist information office.
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Ianto sounded amused.
“I mean it, Ianto, you’re overworked! If you’re not up here, doing paperwork and dealing with stray tourists, you’re cleaning the Hub, taking care of the residents, or in the lower levels, reorganising the archives.”
“Organising, Jack. To reorganise something implies that it was organised in the first place, which the archives most definitely were not.”
Jack shrugged that off. “The point I’m trying to make is that you deserve a break.”
“Yes, well, what I deserve and what I actually get seldom match up.”
“I thought we could go away for a few days.”
“You what? No way! Remember what happened the last time you persuaded me to take a week off?”
“You had the flu! You could barely stand up, never mind work.”
“That’s not the point. When I came back, the Hub looked like a bomb hit it! I had three times my usual workload to deal with. It’s a miracle you lot remembered to feed Myfanwy and the other residents.”
Unsurprisingly, Jack brushed that off as inconsequential. “That won’t happen this time, not now that Rhys is coming on board to handle the cleaning and general maintenance.”
“And who do you expect to train him if I’m not here? He might go below to change a lightbulb and spend the next three days lost in the lower levels because nobody’s shown him how to navigate down there.”
“You’re making mountains out of molehills!”
“I’m just pointing out that Rhys has only been in the Hub a handful of times, and even then, he was restricted to the main work areas. This isn’t some generic office building, it’s more like a rabbit warren.”
“Granted, it takes a bit of getting used to, but we won’t be gone for long.”
“You said a few days.”
“Ah, but I have this!” Jack displayed his VM. Now that the Doctor’s latest incarnation had removed the blocks his former self had installed, Jack could use the teleport function to take himself and one passenger anywhere he wanted. He’d already used it to rescue Tosh from an enraged Weevil, and to transport an injured alien to the Hub for lifesaving treatment. “I can whisk you away from all this for a blissful two-week holiday and have you back at work the following morning. What could possibly go wrong overnight?” He could tell Ianto’s resolve was beginning to waver, so he pressed his advantage. “Come on, Ianto, live a little. It’ll be fun, I guarantee it!”
“Where exactly would we be going?”
“Wherever you want! Australia, the Caribbean, Ziphnax Major, Aritriptanor… The beaches there would blow your mind, and the nightlife’s out of this world.”
“And we could really be back here the next morning?”
“Absolutely. We just wait for the others to leave for the night, have any alerts sent to their mobiles, throw the bare necessities in a bag, pick a destination, and be there before you can blink.”
A slow smile spread across Ianto’s face. “Well, you did promise one day you’d show me the stars. I suppose now would be as good a time as any.” He really could use a few days’ downtime; work had been hectic recently.
“Where to?”
“Let’s start with somewhere peaceful where we can just relax for a couple of days. After that, you can choose.”
“I know the perfect place! Quaint villages, friendly natives, mild weather, beautiful scenery, air that tastes like wine, you’ll love it. Then when we leave there, I’ll take you to Aritriptanor for the beach life. Once you experience it, you’ll never want to leave.”
That night, Jack put his plan into action, throwing a few things into a duffle bag, looping both arms around Ianto, and in the blink of an eye, they were on the idyllic planet Jack had picked out.
The first thing Ianto noticed once he recovered from being teleported across a few dozen light years was the rain. He was actually a bit surprised that he hadn’t noticed it sooner, considering it was icy cold and he was standing in a good four inches of water. The next thing he noticed was the screaming, as terrified people blundered past, nearly blinded by the downpour, all of them heading in the same direction, uphill, away from the deepening water. It was utter chaos.
Someone bumped into them, and Jack made a quick grab, managing to keep the person upright.
“What’s happening?” he shouted over the sound of the rain.
“The gachnigar come! We must flee the water, or we shall all die!”
“Gachnigar?”
“Water serpents, terrible creatures! They swarm when the storms come, no one is safe in the valleys!”
Ianto snorted. “Idyllic and peaceful, you said!”
“It was the last time I was here.”
“Never visited in the rainy season then?”
“I didn’t know there WAS a rainy season!” Both men were moving now, gathering locals as they went, herding the much smaller natives to safety, picking up and carrying some of the children. While Ianto helped families move essential supplies further up the hillsides surrounding the fertile valley that was there home, Jack used his VM to travel back and forth, snatching people from the deepening water and transporting them to dry land.
By morning, the entire valley was flooded, and immense serpents were visible, swimming around and feasting on stranded livestock. Jack continued his rescue efforts, while Ianto helped set up camp in some caves, prepare food for the refugees, and tend the injured.
“You promised me a restful holiday,” he reminded Jack. “Somewhere quiet and peaceful.” He winced as a goatlike creature bleated loudly in his ear.
“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this would happen!”
Wet and exhausted, Ianto was in no mood to accept excuses, or apologies. “Don’t you dare threaten me with a good time ever again!” He couldn’t wait to get home.
The End
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Ianto sounded amused.
“I mean it, Ianto, you’re overworked! If you’re not up here, doing paperwork and dealing with stray tourists, you’re cleaning the Hub, taking care of the residents, or in the lower levels, reorganising the archives.”
“Organising, Jack. To reorganise something implies that it was organised in the first place, which the archives most definitely were not.”
Jack shrugged that off. “The point I’m trying to make is that you deserve a break.”
“Yes, well, what I deserve and what I actually get seldom match up.”
“I thought we could go away for a few days.”
“You what? No way! Remember what happened the last time you persuaded me to take a week off?”
“You had the flu! You could barely stand up, never mind work.”
“That’s not the point. When I came back, the Hub looked like a bomb hit it! I had three times my usual workload to deal with. It’s a miracle you lot remembered to feed Myfanwy and the other residents.”
Unsurprisingly, Jack brushed that off as inconsequential. “That won’t happen this time, not now that Rhys is coming on board to handle the cleaning and general maintenance.”
“And who do you expect to train him if I’m not here? He might go below to change a lightbulb and spend the next three days lost in the lower levels because nobody’s shown him how to navigate down there.”
“You’re making mountains out of molehills!”
“I’m just pointing out that Rhys has only been in the Hub a handful of times, and even then, he was restricted to the main work areas. This isn’t some generic office building, it’s more like a rabbit warren.”
“Granted, it takes a bit of getting used to, but we won’t be gone for long.”
“You said a few days.”
“Ah, but I have this!” Jack displayed his VM. Now that the Doctor’s latest incarnation had removed the blocks his former self had installed, Jack could use the teleport function to take himself and one passenger anywhere he wanted. He’d already used it to rescue Tosh from an enraged Weevil, and to transport an injured alien to the Hub for lifesaving treatment. “I can whisk you away from all this for a blissful two-week holiday and have you back at work the following morning. What could possibly go wrong overnight?” He could tell Ianto’s resolve was beginning to waver, so he pressed his advantage. “Come on, Ianto, live a little. It’ll be fun, I guarantee it!”
“Where exactly would we be going?”
“Wherever you want! Australia, the Caribbean, Ziphnax Major, Aritriptanor… The beaches there would blow your mind, and the nightlife’s out of this world.”
“And we could really be back here the next morning?”
“Absolutely. We just wait for the others to leave for the night, have any alerts sent to their mobiles, throw the bare necessities in a bag, pick a destination, and be there before you can blink.”
A slow smile spread across Ianto’s face. “Well, you did promise one day you’d show me the stars. I suppose now would be as good a time as any.” He really could use a few days’ downtime; work had been hectic recently.
“Where to?”
“Let’s start with somewhere peaceful where we can just relax for a couple of days. After that, you can choose.”
“I know the perfect place! Quaint villages, friendly natives, mild weather, beautiful scenery, air that tastes like wine, you’ll love it. Then when we leave there, I’ll take you to Aritriptanor for the beach life. Once you experience it, you’ll never want to leave.”
That night, Jack put his plan into action, throwing a few things into a duffle bag, looping both arms around Ianto, and in the blink of an eye, they were on the idyllic planet Jack had picked out.
The first thing Ianto noticed once he recovered from being teleported across a few dozen light years was the rain. He was actually a bit surprised that he hadn’t noticed it sooner, considering it was icy cold and he was standing in a good four inches of water. The next thing he noticed was the screaming, as terrified people blundered past, nearly blinded by the downpour, all of them heading in the same direction, uphill, away from the deepening water. It was utter chaos.
Someone bumped into them, and Jack made a quick grab, managing to keep the person upright.
“What’s happening?” he shouted over the sound of the rain.
“The gachnigar come! We must flee the water, or we shall all die!”
“Gachnigar?”
“Water serpents, terrible creatures! They swarm when the storms come, no one is safe in the valleys!”
Ianto snorted. “Idyllic and peaceful, you said!”
“It was the last time I was here.”
“Never visited in the rainy season then?”
“I didn’t know there WAS a rainy season!” Both men were moving now, gathering locals as they went, herding the much smaller natives to safety, picking up and carrying some of the children. While Ianto helped families move essential supplies further up the hillsides surrounding the fertile valley that was there home, Jack used his VM to travel back and forth, snatching people from the deepening water and transporting them to dry land.
By morning, the entire valley was flooded, and immense serpents were visible, swimming around and feasting on stranded livestock. Jack continued his rescue efforts, while Ianto helped set up camp in some caves, prepare food for the refugees, and tend the injured.
“You promised me a restful holiday,” he reminded Jack. “Somewhere quiet and peaceful.” He winced as a goatlike creature bleated loudly in his ear.
“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this would happen!”
Wet and exhausted, Ianto was in no mood to accept excuses, or apologies. “Don’t you dare threaten me with a good time ever again!” He couldn’t wait to get home.
The End