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fandomweekly2024-12-28 02:50 pm
yoshishisha) wrote in fandomweekly2024-12-28 02:50 pm
Entry tags:
[#243] Guilty (Daredevil)
Theme Prompt: #243 - Redemption
Title: Guilty
Fandom: Daredevil
Characters: Matthew Murdock, Foggy Nelson
Tags: Male Friendship, Misplaced Guilt
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 902
Summary: Foggy has grown familiar with Matt's different levels of guilt. He wishes he hadn't though.
“Are we going to have to talk about this?”
Foggy didn’t know what he had expected when he came back to the apartment he shared with Matt. He knew that he had not expected to raise his head from his groceries to see Matt kneeling at the foot of the couch, as though praying on those benches they had in church. Foggy followed Matt’s gaze to the ceiling where his eyes seemed lost, but as expected found nothing of note there. This position didn’t bode well for Matt’s state of mind however and Foggy wasn’t sure what kind of discussion this was going to be.
“I’m seeking redemption, not absolution from my sins.”
Foggy sighed. He really did try his best to be respectful of others’ beliefs. Mama Nelson had raised her son right, and that was to take no bullshit and do no bullshit. Foggy had appropriately filled in the rest of that saying with life experience and deciphering his mother’s reactions to what he did. It wasn’t foolproof, but it had served him well. Until now.
Foggy knew plenty of Catholics. Why, even his best friend was a Catholic and despite all appearances to the contrary, Matt’s Catholicism isn’t the problem. His attitude towards it was. And as Foggy had chosen to live with the man, Foggy had also chosen to be present for those maudlin moods of his.
“Matt, my friend, my bosom buddy, my brother from another mother.”
Foggy ran out of names before that dreadful expression could leave Matt’s face to make place for an annoyed glare. Damn, the situation was even worse than he thought if even comedy could not momentarily pull Matt out of his funk. Even the annoyance did not last, making place for the original expression in short order.
“Foggy,” Matt said, with his voice so full of guilt Foggy could choke on it. He was unwillingly becoming familiar with Matt’s different types of guilts too. This was veering towards guilt #9. The I’m guilty, but I’m seeking reassurance from you, which makes me feel even more guilty because I know you’ll give it to me even though I don’t deserve it, and thus I should feel guilty for even daring to impose my undeserving self upon you kind of guilt.
Matt had never quite told Foggy that in those exact terms, but he hadn’t needed to, not when Foggy knew him so well.
“Foggy, do you think I’m a monster?”
And there it was. The sad tone, the self-deprecating smirk at the end. Foggy even thought he could sense a hint of guilt #4, the I don’t deserve your forgiveness because I’m not telling you the full story and thus am secretly manipulating you to take my side which makes me feel even more guilty kind of guilt. Foggy didn’t like guilt #4 because it made him want to tell Matt that he wasn’t being manipulated actually, and that Matt didn’t have to bare his soul to deserve support. He didn’t quite know how to voice that without having Matt clamp down with even more guilt and retreat from Foggy’s support.
Foggy was sure Matt’s priest was great or whatever (Foggy had never been one for confession, because confessing to a priest he didn’t know that well just felt weird actually), but he was also certain that priest couldn’t be everything Matt needed in life. He wondered if that guy maybe had a priest he could confess to about the fucked-upenedness he had to hear about all day. Infinite Priest Matrix maybe.
It took Foggy a while to notice that he still hadn’t answered Matt. He wondered for a moment what would happen to guilt #9 if he threw Matt a curveball and didn’t actually answer in the way he expected. He couldn’t really answer that question in any other way but a definitive no though, as even that would be too outrageous a lie for Matt to believe despite his massive guilt complex. Oh well, if it was absolution Matt was looking for, then absolution he would get.
“What is actually the difference between redemption and absolution?” Foggy asked instead of voicing the very well-thought-out answer he’d been planning. And which had the added effect of probably going to the root of what Matt was looking for.
A glance at Matt revealed that despite whatever intentions Foggy had, his goal had actually been granted. There was no more trace of guilt on Matt’s face now, just pure confusion (which kind of made him look like a lost puppy, adorable. That was why girls kept falling for that face).
“I know you’re asking those questions because you want confirmation that you’re not-”
Foggy gestured to Matt in an attempt to convey Matt’s everything. “Whatever you think you are sometimes. But I realise that I want to give you what you need. Like redemption. Or absolution. Except I don’t actually know the difference?”
Foggy was feeling more and more dumb with every word, and he was very determinedly not looking in Matt’s direction because he didn’t want to lose track of his idea. “So yeah, I just want to help. And be there for you. Anyway I can.”
There was a moment of silence, and Foggy was still looking at the floor. Then, Matt’s voice rose up.
“You know I don’t deserve that.”
Ah, and there was guilt #12. Foggy hated that one.
Title: Guilty
Fandom: Daredevil
Characters: Matthew Murdock, Foggy Nelson
Tags: Male Friendship, Misplaced Guilt
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 902
Summary: Foggy has grown familiar with Matt's different levels of guilt. He wishes he hadn't though.
“Are we going to have to talk about this?”
Foggy didn’t know what he had expected when he came back to the apartment he shared with Matt. He knew that he had not expected to raise his head from his groceries to see Matt kneeling at the foot of the couch, as though praying on those benches they had in church. Foggy followed Matt’s gaze to the ceiling where his eyes seemed lost, but as expected found nothing of note there. This position didn’t bode well for Matt’s state of mind however and Foggy wasn’t sure what kind of discussion this was going to be.
“I’m seeking redemption, not absolution from my sins.”
Foggy sighed. He really did try his best to be respectful of others’ beliefs. Mama Nelson had raised her son right, and that was to take no bullshit and do no bullshit. Foggy had appropriately filled in the rest of that saying with life experience and deciphering his mother’s reactions to what he did. It wasn’t foolproof, but it had served him well. Until now.
Foggy knew plenty of Catholics. Why, even his best friend was a Catholic and despite all appearances to the contrary, Matt’s Catholicism isn’t the problem. His attitude towards it was. And as Foggy had chosen to live with the man, Foggy had also chosen to be present for those maudlin moods of his.
“Matt, my friend, my bosom buddy, my brother from another mother.”
Foggy ran out of names before that dreadful expression could leave Matt’s face to make place for an annoyed glare. Damn, the situation was even worse than he thought if even comedy could not momentarily pull Matt out of his funk. Even the annoyance did not last, making place for the original expression in short order.
“Foggy,” Matt said, with his voice so full of guilt Foggy could choke on it. He was unwillingly becoming familiar with Matt’s different types of guilts too. This was veering towards guilt #9. The I’m guilty, but I’m seeking reassurance from you, which makes me feel even more guilty because I know you’ll give it to me even though I don’t deserve it, and thus I should feel guilty for even daring to impose my undeserving self upon you kind of guilt.
Matt had never quite told Foggy that in those exact terms, but he hadn’t needed to, not when Foggy knew him so well.
“Foggy, do you think I’m a monster?”
And there it was. The sad tone, the self-deprecating smirk at the end. Foggy even thought he could sense a hint of guilt #4, the I don’t deserve your forgiveness because I’m not telling you the full story and thus am secretly manipulating you to take my side which makes me feel even more guilty kind of guilt. Foggy didn’t like guilt #4 because it made him want to tell Matt that he wasn’t being manipulated actually, and that Matt didn’t have to bare his soul to deserve support. He didn’t quite know how to voice that without having Matt clamp down with even more guilt and retreat from Foggy’s support.
Foggy was sure Matt’s priest was great or whatever (Foggy had never been one for confession, because confessing to a priest he didn’t know that well just felt weird actually), but he was also certain that priest couldn’t be everything Matt needed in life. He wondered if that guy maybe had a priest he could confess to about the fucked-upenedness he had to hear about all day. Infinite Priest Matrix maybe.
It took Foggy a while to notice that he still hadn’t answered Matt. He wondered for a moment what would happen to guilt #9 if he threw Matt a curveball and didn’t actually answer in the way he expected. He couldn’t really answer that question in any other way but a definitive no though, as even that would be too outrageous a lie for Matt to believe despite his massive guilt complex. Oh well, if it was absolution Matt was looking for, then absolution he would get.
“What is actually the difference between redemption and absolution?” Foggy asked instead of voicing the very well-thought-out answer he’d been planning. And which had the added effect of probably going to the root of what Matt was looking for.
A glance at Matt revealed that despite whatever intentions Foggy had, his goal had actually been granted. There was no more trace of guilt on Matt’s face now, just pure confusion (which kind of made him look like a lost puppy, adorable. That was why girls kept falling for that face).
“I know you’re asking those questions because you want confirmation that you’re not-”
Foggy gestured to Matt in an attempt to convey Matt’s everything. “Whatever you think you are sometimes. But I realise that I want to give you what you need. Like redemption. Or absolution. Except I don’t actually know the difference?”
Foggy was feeling more and more dumb with every word, and he was very determinedly not looking in Matt’s direction because he didn’t want to lose track of his idea. “So yeah, I just want to help. And be there for you. Anyway I can.”
There was a moment of silence, and Foggy was still looking at the floor. Then, Matt’s voice rose up.
“You know I don’t deserve that.”
Ah, and there was guilt #12. Foggy hated that one.