[#002] EVERYBODY'S WHORE (ORIGINAL)

[m_findlow]

Theme Prompt: #002 – Heartbreak
Title: Everybody's whore
Fandom: Original
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 (Character death)
Bonus: No
Word Count: 578 words
Summary: Your first love stays with you forever.


They say you always treasure your first love. No matter where you go, they stay with you forever. I've got Brooklyn in my veins, born and raised, and she's never gonna let me go. We've got something special.

She loves me pounding her streets with these worn out old brogues. Sometimes she lets a little breeze come sailing past, whipping up the trash so it hits my legs. It’s like she’s flirting with me, those tender little touches. Maybe she’s a whore, flirting with every Joe that tickles her pavements but I still like to think she’s my whore, that sly little vixen.

Some nights it just the two of us. I wanna say "hey, what’s a good lookin' dame like you doing in a place like this?", then laugh. She could have her pick of rich stockbrokers or slick owners of the city's clubs. She could find herself some upper East-side high roller, or maybe one of those pretty boys that work down at the naval yards. Instead she's got me in my filthy trenchcoat and fedora. A private eye with eyes only for her. My city. My sweetheart.

Tonight it’s just us alone in this intimate moment. We’ve finally crossed that barrier between friends and lovers. It's a shame, me lying here, hot-blooded gumshoe spilling my hot blood all over her nice clean street.

One thing you learn in this game is that you never go poking your nose in the affairs of gangsters. Not unless you wanna be swimming with the fishes in Jamaica Bay. Only I couldn’t help myself. The money was good and I never could resist a dollface like that walking into my office. She was a damsel in distress with gams like a speakeasy canary.

Some wop of a boyfriend had gone missing. Did he like the dice? She nodded. Of course he did. Cards too, no doubt. Up to his eyeballs in debt with a bookie who didn't like extended credit terms. They don't like that. You paying your bills is the only way bad money gets cleaned up into good money. In this town it's the only language everybody speaks, and this doll was speaking loud and clear just how much was in it for me. Daddy was keeping her flush. Her boyfriend is dead as a dodo. This ain't nothing but a trip for biscuits, but if I play my cards right, maybe I'll get more than a handful of Lincolns for my troubles.

Now I guess I’m paying that price. The old girl let me down. Not the pretty broad who knocked on my door, but the one whose horn I've been blowing up since I was old enough to be able to tell a grifter from a g-man.

The streetlamp on the corner of Atlantic and Kingston has been busted for weeks. Thought I’d be able to hide in the shadows when the boss came rolling out of the back of the club. Only someone prettied her up, fixed her with a whole new light. Soon as I was spotted, they prettied me up, too. Fixed me up good and proper. End of the line proper, with some Mick’s bullet in my guts.

"Sorry, toots," I apologise. I'm gonna miss this damn old town. "We always knew things were gonna end in heartache," I tell her. "We had some good times though, yeah?" Until you sold me out, that is. Guess you really are everybody’s whore.

Comments

[dray]

1) What a fascinating take on the usual relationship dynamics! 2) Totally had the cadence down, I got into the accent and tone instantly. 3) That was a really fun read that I was not expecting from the outset. Thank you!

[m_findlow]

Thank you!
Inspiration comes from some funny places, doesn't it? I was listening to some jazz on the train home and his voice was there in my head, narrating a seedy black and white New York night. I fell in love with the 1930s slang and though I don't write original fic, this one came easy.

[catdetective]

Loved this! It's really got that noir detective voice down.

[m_findlow]

Thank you so much. It's definitely a genre that could do with a few more modern reproductions. Agent Carter is the only recent one that comes mind and she was fabulous. A pity they didn't make more.

[rivulet027]

Wow, that was a fun read! I really liked the atmosphere of it.

[m_findlow]

Thanks!

[peaked]

The atmosphere established in this is incredible. I love the personification of the city. Not only did it pull me in, but it gave me a good idea of our poor friend's voice. The attention to detail by him, the way in which he recalls things — it all comes together so nicely to showcase this character without you needing to focus on him physically. I really got attached to him!

[m_findlow]

I'm useless at original fic, but I think I want to write more about this character now. Thank you.

[badly_knitted]

Such a cool take on the prompt, thought I'd walked straight into an old Raymond Chandler novel for a minute. loved it!

[m_findlow]

Not at all what I expected when I first started working up ideas for the prompt. I already had two others, but this one grabbed me and wouldn't let go. Thanks!

[etoile_noire]

Very nice. The tone came through clearly, and I knew what kind of character I was looking through the eyes of before the private eye bit is revealed.
Thank you for sharing it

[m_findlow]

Thank you. He's become an intriguing new character for me to explore.

[sarajayechan]

I love the style this is written in.

[m_findlow]

Thank you. It's a bit gritty and rough around the edges which is something I had fun with.

[canadiandiamond]

This was a fun and interesting read, definitely didn't expect it when I clicked on the link. Thanks for sharing it!

[m_findlow]

Inspiration works in mysterious ways. Thank you.

[sunspot]

Such a unique voice. I love it. <3 <3

[samuraiter]

Oh, I'm all about the noir. Excellent stuff!