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fandomweekly2019-01-21 08:55 pm
samuraiter) wrote in fandomweekly2019-01-21 08:55 pm
Entry tags:
[#003] Smarties (Beavis and Butt-Head)
Theme Prompt: # 003 – Devil's Advocate
Title: Smarties
Fandom: Beavis and Butt-Head
Rating / Warnings: PG-13 – No warnings apply.
Bonus: Way Back When – Yes
Word Count: 550
Summary: Butt-Head encourages Beavis to test a certain myth.
Butt-Head stared at the television. Another music video. "Groove Is in the Heart" by Deee-Lite. Again. He and Beavis had to watch music videos on VHS tapes that they had recorded off MTV back in the '90s, since the channel had long since stopped playing them (... and since they could not afford cable). He had reached the point of no longer having anything to say.
Fortunately, he always had Beavis to alleviate his boredom.
"Hey, Butt-Head. Check it out." Beavis dropped a roll of giant Smarties on the (remains of the) coffee table. "Um, the new kid at work said you can grind 'em up and snort 'em. Was thinkin' about trying it out. You want some? Hehehe."
Butt-Head thought to himself, in that instant, that he ought to tell Beavis not to believe everything that the high school kids told him. After all, there had been the one time that they had all told him to put rye whiskey in his gas tank instead of gasoline. Butt-Head still remembered the cloud of smoke.
"Huh-huh-huh, huh-huh-huh," Butt-Head chuckled. That had been the end of their '96 Honda Civic, and finding a replacement had been a pain, but the look of confusion that Beavis had on his face when it happened had been priceless.
"What?" Had a light dawned for Beavis? That only happened once in a blue moon. "What's so funny, Butt-Head? Have you, um, done this before or something?"
"Beavis." Butt-Head made his face as serious as possible. "This is, um, a very important science experiment. You could be, like, discovering something nobody's seen before, or, um, something. You need to use caution and stuff."
"You don't need to wear a rubber to snort Smarties, dumbass. Hehehe."
That had the roots of a fun idea, but Butt-Head did not want to lose track of his original plan. "Just, like, make sure it's all the way ground up and stuff, so you don't get any, like, Smarties chunks in your nose or something."
"Oh. Hehehe. Right." And Beavis proceeded to grind up the Smarties by hitting them repeatedly with a baseball bat that they stole from their high school. That did a little (more) damage to the coffee table, but Butt-Head was willing to make that sacrifice for the sake of the resulting entertainment. Except that Beavis added, after he was done, "What if it, um, doesn't do anything?"
"It might not, like, do anything," Butt-Head said, "but you won't know until you, like, science it and stuff. So get to, like, snorting, Beavis."
"All right, dammit. I'll kick your ass if it doesn't work." Setting aside that the pulverized Smarties were mostly chunks and only a bit of dust, he put his nose to the table and snorted a bunch of what was there, chunks and all.
That almost immediately resulted in a nosebleed and a lot of coughing, but it also had one unintended consequence that made Butt-Head question his judgment.
Because, after a moment of choking sounds and wiping his nose on the floor, Beavis put his T-shirt over his head like a cowl and shouted, spittle dripping from the corners of his mouth as his eyes twitched, "I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!"
That resulted in the destruction of the living room and a visit from the police.
END.
Title: Smarties
Fandom: Beavis and Butt-Head
Rating / Warnings: PG-13 – No warnings apply.
Bonus: Way Back When – Yes
Word Count: 550
Summary: Butt-Head encourages Beavis to test a certain myth.
Butt-Head stared at the television. Another music video. "Groove Is in the Heart" by Deee-Lite. Again. He and Beavis had to watch music videos on VHS tapes that they had recorded off MTV back in the '90s, since the channel had long since stopped playing them (... and since they could not afford cable). He had reached the point of no longer having anything to say.
Fortunately, he always had Beavis to alleviate his boredom.
"Hey, Butt-Head. Check it out." Beavis dropped a roll of giant Smarties on the (remains of the) coffee table. "Um, the new kid at work said you can grind 'em up and snort 'em. Was thinkin' about trying it out. You want some? Hehehe."
Butt-Head thought to himself, in that instant, that he ought to tell Beavis not to believe everything that the high school kids told him. After all, there had been the one time that they had all told him to put rye whiskey in his gas tank instead of gasoline. Butt-Head still remembered the cloud of smoke.
"Huh-huh-huh, huh-huh-huh," Butt-Head chuckled. That had been the end of their '96 Honda Civic, and finding a replacement had been a pain, but the look of confusion that Beavis had on his face when it happened had been priceless.
"What?" Had a light dawned for Beavis? That only happened once in a blue moon. "What's so funny, Butt-Head? Have you, um, done this before or something?"
"Beavis." Butt-Head made his face as serious as possible. "This is, um, a very important science experiment. You could be, like, discovering something nobody's seen before, or, um, something. You need to use caution and stuff."
"You don't need to wear a rubber to snort Smarties, dumbass. Hehehe."
That had the roots of a fun idea, but Butt-Head did not want to lose track of his original plan. "Just, like, make sure it's all the way ground up and stuff, so you don't get any, like, Smarties chunks in your nose or something."
"Oh. Hehehe. Right." And Beavis proceeded to grind up the Smarties by hitting them repeatedly with a baseball bat that they stole from their high school. That did a little (more) damage to the coffee table, but Butt-Head was willing to make that sacrifice for the sake of the resulting entertainment. Except that Beavis added, after he was done, "What if it, um, doesn't do anything?"
"It might not, like, do anything," Butt-Head said, "but you won't know until you, like, science it and stuff. So get to, like, snorting, Beavis."
"All right, dammit. I'll kick your ass if it doesn't work." Setting aside that the pulverized Smarties were mostly chunks and only a bit of dust, he put his nose to the table and snorted a bunch of what was there, chunks and all.
That almost immediately resulted in a nosebleed and a lot of coughing, but it also had one unintended consequence that made Butt-Head question his judgment.
Because, after a moment of choking sounds and wiping his nose on the floor, Beavis put his T-shirt over his head like a cowl and shouted, spittle dripping from the corners of his mouth as his eyes twitched, "I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!"
That resulted in the destruction of the living room and a visit from the police.
END.
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Thank you for reading. :-)
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Nooooooooo, just noooooooo. I fully expect a Tom Green fanfic next week, how DARE you.
(That said, this was really well written to match these classic knob-heads' tone, but I feel like a prerequisite of in-taking anything involving them requires one or more of your braincells to die. I'm holding you responsible for those!)
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Thank you for reading, nonetheless. :-)
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My SO suggested Daria as a next launching off point for a fic, which feels thematic, somehow. One I never watched, but it was from around the same time, right?
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