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fandomweekly2019-02-08 02:14 am
[#006] Arrival (The Big Chill)
Title: Arrival
Fandom: The Big Chill
Rating/Warnings: G, but heavy warning for suicide (discussion of attempt)
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 923
Summary: Michael drove all night to arrive earlier than expected. Harold may have neglected to mention he was to be expected at all. (A stab at the same AU as before-- Alex in hospital rather than dead. Can take place just before 'Survival' or just be a variation on the theme, though this one definitively removes Chloe from the story)
“Were you there when it happened?”
Harold nods. “Upstairs. We almost didn’t know in time. He’s been under heavy sedation… His parents haven’t gotten here yet, I’d have thought-- Anyway. After them I called you. I don’t know anyone else kept in touch with him.”
Michael shrugs. He’d driven non-stop. He’d assumed a workplace accident, the way Harold had broken the news over the phone. Seeing the bandages, he knows that’s not what it is…
“Tried to.” He says. “You know, he used to leave the bathroom door open, most of the time… when we, um, lived together.”
“I would never have guessed… I would never have guessed he might…”
“I didn’t think… like this.” Michael touches Alex’ face. Feels him just barely stir, leaning into it. “More like… when it got bad, he wouldn’t, uh, wouldn’t be sorry if he got... hit by a bus crossing the street. But that’s different from doing it, you know?”
“Is it?”
“Yeah.” He whispers.
Alex’ eyes flutter open. He shifts, frowning as he realizes he’s restrained, and then taking in Michael’s face at last.
“What are you doing here?”
“Came to see you.”
“Well, if I knew you were coming, I’d have baked a cake.” He says, though there’s no sparkle. Still, that he’d responded with an attempt at humor, that has to mean something. He’s seen him without that sparkle before, countless times, and he’s seen him sitting there, on days when he was without any of his own. Not that he thinks he ever had the kind of spark to him Alex did. He’d hide dull days under false cheer, but Michael always did know.
“Sorry I dropped in unexpectedly, then.”
“Don’t be.” Alex’ arm jerks, stopped by the leather cuff around his wrist from reaching for Michael.
“I asked him.” Harold says. “I’m going to go and let Sarah know you’re up…”
“I don’t really know what to say.” Alex says, as the door clicks softly shut behind him, and he and Michael are left alone. “Maybe if I’d picked up the phone once or twice, this wouldn’t be so…”
“I-- I’m glad Harold asked me, I wanted to see you. If you don’t want me to stay…”
“I want you.”
Michael slips his hand into Alex’, nodding, jaw working a long moment. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed… everyone, but you… Alex.”
They belong together. He thinks he’s always known it. Afraid to act on it, once, but if Alex wants him…
When the door opens, he doesn’t take his hand away. He doesn’t think he’d have had the strength to, with Alex holding tight to him. He’s not sure he’d have had the strength even if Alex wasn’t holding on very tight at all…
“Missed you, too.” Alex nods. There’s something beyond that dull emptiness of depression in his eyes. The light moves in them, in a way that suggests he’s not in the same extreme low he must have hit, even if he’s not far out of it. The blue of them always looked like a summer sky, on a good day. On a bad day, ice.
Despite the weariness, the past ten years have been good to him… back in college, he’d had the power to summon incredible charisma at times, but he wasn’t what you’d call attractive. There’d been something awkward about the way his face fit together. But then, Michael had felt pretty awkward himself most of the time, features too strong here to be pretty, too delicate there to be handsome. Now, though, Michael’s not sure what he’s settled into himself, but Alex has become… rugged. Something Michael might not have imagined, back when he was studying physics. Something that suits him, now.
“Excuse me--”
Michael turns, his contemplation of Alex’ features broken.
“Sarah, hi.” He greets, smile small, tentative.
“Michael came.” Harold prompts, and the recognition hits. He guesses they haven’t seen each other so long-- he looked pretty different then, himself, though Sarah still looks so much like herself.
“Michael.” She nods. There’s not much warmth, but he can’t imagine he blames her, worrying about Alex has to be at the forefront of her mind. She can’t have expected any more than Harold had that he would drop his entire life and drive through the night to arrive so quickly.
“It’s good to see you.”
“Yes, right-- thank you for coming out. Where are you staying, do you know yet?”
“With us.” Harold’s brow furrows.
Which would be nice, he hadn’t thought about where he would stay once he heard the words ‘Alex’ and ‘hospital’.
“Harold, we don’t have room, we’re putting up Alex’ parents…”
“It’s a big house, I’m sure--”
“You can put him in the basement.” Alex says. Even quiet as he is, he has everyone’s attention from word one.
“I don’t mind a basement.” Michael nods.
“While you’re here, but--”
“Please, it’s fine. When I get out, too.” He turns his smile, weak but not hopeless, towards Michael. “Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve squeezed in together. You always kept me accountable.”
“Michael’s a grown man now, I’m sure he doesn’t want--” Sarah starts.
“I want.” He squeezes Alex’ hand. “As long as I’m here.”
“Wouldn’t be a bad idea.” Harold says. Sarah doesn’t look like she agrees, exactly, but she doesn’t argue the point.
If he’s honest, Michael doesn’t just want this. He wants Alex back, wants the life they never did promise each other once upon a time. But if he can’t ask for that, at least there’s this.
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