Emily (
iluvroadrunner6) wrote in
fandomweekly2019-09-15 06:59 pm
Entry tags:
[#023] No Time to Think of Consequences (The Umbrella Academy)
Theme Prompt: #023 – Inner Child
Title: No Time to Think of Consequences
Fandom: The Umbrella Academy
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 903
Summary: Five’s brother opts to add a new member to the family.
It’s safe to say that all of the Hargreeves children have a little arrested development in them.
It’s not their fault. They were forced to group up far too quickly, and therefore never really had the chance to be children the way they should have. They all can be a little childish, a little petty, and a little emotional for Reginald’s taste, and Five feels, for once in his life, that he doesn’t disagree with his father in that respect.
Then again, there’s arrested development, and then there’s Five’s situation, which is … something else entirely.
Being a grown man stuck in a twelve year-old’s body is not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, his back feels better than it has in years, his body feels like it’s brand new again, with all the flexibility and regeneration that had always been a young man’s game. But he also lacks the muscle, the height and the goddamn common sense that he’s come to know in his older years.
Well, he has it. But it’s immediately overruled by a pile of teenage hormones that just won’t quit.
“I’m going to murder whoever invented puberty,” he mutters to himself, hunkering down with a cup of coffee to try and save off the hangover that just wouldn’t go away. He knows he shouldn’t be drinking, it makes his body chemistry even more unpredictable, but he’s been having a shitty few days, and he felt the need to indulge.
“I don’t think you can murder the concept of evolution,” Klaus sighs as he goes to sit at the counter across from him, opening up a box of cereal and digging out a handful without the common courtesy of using a bowl. “Not even with your fancy old man sniper skills.”
“I think if I thought about it long enough, I could figure it out.” He bitterly reaches for what’s left of the bottle of whiskey, intending to use a little hair of the dog to help balance himself out, but unfortunately for him, Klaus has longer arms and is faster, clucking his tongue lightly as he snatches it away from him.
“You really shouldn’t be drinking at this age. Will mess up all that crucial brain development going on in there. Trust me. I know.” Klaus then proceeds to unscrew the top and take a big swig, straight out of the bottle, which killed any further interest Five had in trying to lay claim to it. “You don’t want to turn out like me, do you?”
“I think I’d have to add a few other controlled substances to my regimen to turn out like you.” There’s another long sip of his coffee, sighing in contentment as the hot liquid rolls down his throat. This sensation is immediately contrasted by the feeling of a wet nose brushing against the back of his leg.
Five is suddenly ramrod straight, not wanting to look down, but at the same time wanting to confirm it is what he thinks it is. There’s a deep breath, before he looks down.
The dog is a mutt from what Five can tell, and when the canine creature meets his eyes his mouth lolls open in a giant doggy smile and Five doesn’t know whether he should be endeared or annoyed. “What is that?”
“That’s Diego.”
There’s a long silence as Five tries to parse his words carefully. “Not literally …”
“No, it’s not literally Diego. He hasn’t discovered a new ability to turn himself into a dog. And honestly, if you did, do you think he would be that happy as a canine?”
“Point.”
“Plus he would probably be more likely to turn into a fish. Kraken and all.”
“Klaus. Where did you get this dog?”
“I found him. I looked into his eyes and I knew we were soulmates.”
Five, still being new to the Klaus of it all, doesn’t know if he should take that seriously or not. For all he knows, his brother can talk to dogs now along with ghosts. “You didn’t steal him from someone, though?”
“Nope. Found him at the pound. I figured since old Reggie is dead now, he can’t enforce any more lame no pets rules.”
“And the shelter just … gave him to you.”
“Well, technically they think I’m Luther.”
“Of course they do. I’m going to the library.”
After a few hours of digging through his father’s old texts and still coming up with nothing, all while running out of coffee, he looks over to find Dog Diego standing at the foot of the coffee table in front of him. He’s just sitting there, waiting for attention, and Five doesn’t really want to give it to him. But there’s still a part of him, a really quiet part of him, that just wants to pet a good dog. After a few more moments of silence, he glances over to the dog with a scowl.
“If I let you sit next to me, will you promise not to drool on the books?”
Diego gives a small yip of agreement, and Five shifts over, letting him settle into the crook of the couch next to him. If he happens to give Diego some good scritches under the chin in the meantime, then that’s just bonus for the dog.
And if he happens to fall asleep on the couch with him later? He is immediately denying everything.
Title: No Time to Think of Consequences
Fandom: The Umbrella Academy
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 903
Summary: Five’s brother opts to add a new member to the family.
It’s safe to say that all of the Hargreeves children have a little arrested development in them.
It’s not their fault. They were forced to group up far too quickly, and therefore never really had the chance to be children the way they should have. They all can be a little childish, a little petty, and a little emotional for Reginald’s taste, and Five feels, for once in his life, that he doesn’t disagree with his father in that respect.
Then again, there’s arrested development, and then there’s Five’s situation, which is … something else entirely.
Being a grown man stuck in a twelve year-old’s body is not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, his back feels better than it has in years, his body feels like it’s brand new again, with all the flexibility and regeneration that had always been a young man’s game. But he also lacks the muscle, the height and the goddamn common sense that he’s come to know in his older years.
Well, he has it. But it’s immediately overruled by a pile of teenage hormones that just won’t quit.
“I’m going to murder whoever invented puberty,” he mutters to himself, hunkering down with a cup of coffee to try and save off the hangover that just wouldn’t go away. He knows he shouldn’t be drinking, it makes his body chemistry even more unpredictable, but he’s been having a shitty few days, and he felt the need to indulge.
“I don’t think you can murder the concept of evolution,” Klaus sighs as he goes to sit at the counter across from him, opening up a box of cereal and digging out a handful without the common courtesy of using a bowl. “Not even with your fancy old man sniper skills.”
“I think if I thought about it long enough, I could figure it out.” He bitterly reaches for what’s left of the bottle of whiskey, intending to use a little hair of the dog to help balance himself out, but unfortunately for him, Klaus has longer arms and is faster, clucking his tongue lightly as he snatches it away from him.
“You really shouldn’t be drinking at this age. Will mess up all that crucial brain development going on in there. Trust me. I know.” Klaus then proceeds to unscrew the top and take a big swig, straight out of the bottle, which killed any further interest Five had in trying to lay claim to it. “You don’t want to turn out like me, do you?”
“I think I’d have to add a few other controlled substances to my regimen to turn out like you.” There’s another long sip of his coffee, sighing in contentment as the hot liquid rolls down his throat. This sensation is immediately contrasted by the feeling of a wet nose brushing against the back of his leg.
Five is suddenly ramrod straight, not wanting to look down, but at the same time wanting to confirm it is what he thinks it is. There’s a deep breath, before he looks down.
The dog is a mutt from what Five can tell, and when the canine creature meets his eyes his mouth lolls open in a giant doggy smile and Five doesn’t know whether he should be endeared or annoyed. “What is that?”
“That’s Diego.”
There’s a long silence as Five tries to parse his words carefully. “Not literally …”
“No, it’s not literally Diego. He hasn’t discovered a new ability to turn himself into a dog. And honestly, if you did, do you think he would be that happy as a canine?”
“Point.”
“Plus he would probably be more likely to turn into a fish. Kraken and all.”
“Klaus. Where did you get this dog?”
“I found him. I looked into his eyes and I knew we were soulmates.”
Five, still being new to the Klaus of it all, doesn’t know if he should take that seriously or not. For all he knows, his brother can talk to dogs now along with ghosts. “You didn’t steal him from someone, though?”
“Nope. Found him at the pound. I figured since old Reggie is dead now, he can’t enforce any more lame no pets rules.”
“And the shelter just … gave him to you.”
“Well, technically they think I’m Luther.”
“Of course they do. I’m going to the library.”
After a few hours of digging through his father’s old texts and still coming up with nothing, all while running out of coffee, he looks over to find Dog Diego standing at the foot of the coffee table in front of him. He’s just sitting there, waiting for attention, and Five doesn’t really want to give it to him. But there’s still a part of him, a really quiet part of him, that just wants to pet a good dog. After a few more moments of silence, he glances over to the dog with a scowl.
“If I let you sit next to me, will you promise not to drool on the books?”
Diego gives a small yip of agreement, and Five shifts over, letting him settle into the crook of the couch next to him. If he happens to give Diego some good scritches under the chin in the meantime, then that’s just bonus for the dog.
And if he happens to fall asleep on the couch with him later? He is immediately denying everything.

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