fandomweekly | [#005] The Fourth Wall (Chrono Trigger)

Theme Prompt: #005 - Minor Characters
Title: The Fourth Wall
Fandom: Chrono Trigger
Rating/Warnings: T
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 957
Summary: "You can't summarize something as majestic as my, albeit short-lived, rule!" Dalton fumed. "How dare you!"
Notes: I'm sorry.

The fate of the world was pointed towards doom. The tragic death of Crono, merely a pawn against the power of the devourer Lavos, had put the entire future on the brink of extinction. Without the uniting force to keep them on track, the party found themselves stumbling in the dark, grief-stricken and lost. Crono, the hero that had given them all hope, was-

“Okay, no,” Dalton interrupted, with a wave of his hand. “No, no, no. Screw that guy. Seriously, they all suck.”

Actually, they are the heroes in this story. They are the only ones who have the power to defeat Lavos.

“Why would we want to defeat Lavos? Obviously, that isn't working out too well for them,” Dalton said. “I mean, that guy's pretty dead, so. Has anyone considered that maybe they aren't the heroes at all, and somebody else is?”

I'm not sure who you are referring to.

“I'm surrounded by idiots,” Dalton sighed. “I think it's time for a new hero. This story is already a snooze-fest. You got a pencil handy?”

Always, but-

“There's gonna be a new king in town.”

–

It was nighttime when Dalton made his advance on the Last Village, but the cloud of smoke from that the floating kingdom of Zeal had left in its absence obscured the stars. This confused him a bit and led to a bit of aimlessly wandering around, until the dust finally began to scatter and he could see the direction in which he needed to go.

The elder wasn't awake when Dalton marched into the pitiful excuse for a town square, so he made sure to kick him several times in the shin before one of the minions yanked the old man to his feet.

“Knock, knock,” Dalton said.

“What are you doing?” the elder demanded. “Have you gone crazy?!”

“You're supposed to say 'who's there',” Dalton told him, and kicked him again for ruining his punch-line. “Anyway, it's me! Your new king!”

The minions hauled the rest of the people up, who were kind of bleary and sleepy and not cowering in fear as much as they should be. Perhaps attacking at nighttime had been a tactical error.

“King Dalton is ruling this joint now,” Dalton announced. He strode to the center of the square and held his hands up. The attempt to look powerful was somewhat lessened by the wind that kicked up and blew his cape into his face – he pawed it down for a few seconds before continuing. “And you, lesser people, are to be my loyal subjects.”

“But there's not even anything here,” one of the Earthbounds said. “We barely even have huts to sleep in.”

“Everything came down with Zeal,” an Enlightened woman agreed.

Dalton waved his hands for silence. “Nonetheless, this is my new kingdom. You shall all bow before me as your rightful and far more handsome ruler.”

Grumbling and protesting, the villagers all assembled into a semblance of lines on either side of the clearing. They seemed to be shivering a lot – granted, it was cold, given the ice age and all, but Dalton rather thought they were just trying to take magnificence away from his big moment.

“Elder!” he cried, with a fist raised dramatically in the air. “The crown.”

“What crown?” the elder asked. “We told you, there's nothing like that here.”

Dalton sighed. “Then the first order of business is to make a crown. One of my loyal men can do it immediately.”

“Where did you even find these people?” another Earthbound asked, looking to the masked fighter standing near him.

“They're minions, not people,” Dalton corrected. “And they obey all my orders.”

“Unless you want us to all die of frostbite, your first order had better be to find us some blankets,” the elder said.

“Okay, no one is properly awed and entranced by this event,” Dalton shouted. “You have all ruined the biggest and most important day of my life!”

One of the Earthbound men snorted. “We just saw an entire continent fall out of the sky. Your delusions of grandeur aren't really big news.”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure your ass got kicked halfway to oblivion at least three times already,” some guy yelled from the back.

“I will kill you all for your insolence!” Dalton screeched.

“With what, your bluster?” an Enlightened laughed.

Dalton was about to unleash a wave of terror on them all with his Golem, and that was when Marle, Frog, and Lucca showed up.

“Son of a –,” Dalton said.

–

And thus, a feeble attempt at legitimacy was squashed before it could even begin, and Dalton's pathetic tries to eradicate the heroes were even less effective than his previous ones. Thoroughly defeated and humiliated, the man found himself-

“This just isn't fair!” Dalton cried. “I didn't even get to be king!”

Well, I did tell you that you aren't the hero of this story.

“No, this is completely unfair. I feel discriminated against. Is there a union I could join for this sort of thing?”

I don't think you will really get the chance. Last we saw you, you were being pulled into a dimensional time vortex of your own creation off the wing of the Blackbird.

“What! I would never!” Dalton sputtered. “This is slander! I'll sue you for this!”

I doubt you will. Because if I'm reading correctly, you get dumped somewhere near the present day, and I don't suspect the locals will be too happy to see you fall out of the sky.

“I'll see you hanged!” Dalton said. “I'll destroy everything you hold dear, you just watch me!”

See you around, Dalton.

“No, wait! I'll have my revenge! I'll raise the greatest army you've ever seen and – !”