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fandomweekly2020-06-06 01:59 pm
badly_knitted) wrote in fandomweekly2020-06-06 01:59 pm
Entry tags:
[#054] Talking To Himself (Torchwood)
Theme Prompt: #054 – Time Travel
Title: Talking To Himself
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating/Warnings: PG / Talk of euthanasia.
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 1000
Summary: Set pre-Cyberwoman. Ianto travels back in time to try and keep himself from making the mistakes he’s already made.
Ianto Jones was down in the Torchwood Three archives when he found himself, or rather, when his other self found him. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he had no idea what to say to himself, although his other self had no such problem.
“There you are. I knew I’d find you here; I spent a lot of time hiding in the archives when I was you.” Ianto’s other self leaned casually back against one of the towering stacks of shelves, hands shoved carelessly in his trouser pockets and a sympathetic smile on his lips. “They’re already starting to feel like home, aren’t they? The things you’ll discover down here…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I could tell you, but I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise. Besides, that’s not why I’m here.”
“Who are you?” Ianto’s voice was a hoarse, nervous croak.
“I’m you, only not you as you are now. I have the benefit of a few extra years’ experience. I’d say wisdom, but I’m not sure I’m any wiser now than I was when…” He trailed off again. “Time travel’s confusing. Let’s just say that future me is probably no wiser than past me was. I know more than you do, but knowledge and wisdom aren’t the same thing. It’s funny, I don’t remember this moment happening in my past, even though you’re the me that was.”
That last sentence set Ianto’s head spinning. “If you’re me from the future how can you not remember meeting yourself in your past?”
“I have no idea. Maybe I’ll remember once I return to my own time.”
“You mean you’re really here? You’re not like a holographic image projected from the future?”
“No, I’m here, as solid and real as you are, but it’s probably best if we avoid physical contact. I’m not completely sure what might happen.” Ianto’s other self smiled reassuringly. “Should be fine as long as we keep a bit if distance between us.”
That was fine with Ianto. He wasn’t sure he hadn’t simply fallen asleep; this could all just be some bizarre dream. A thought occurred to him.
“How far in the future?”
If the question surprised his other self, he didn’t show it.
“Four years give or take a couple of months.”
“Four…?” Ianto had never intended to stay at Torchwood Three longer than it took to cure Lisa. Why was he still here four years in the future? “Why are you here?”
His other self sighed sadly, pulling his hands from his pockets and sliding down to sit on the floor.
“Trying to fix the past. Maybe it’s foolish, maybe what happened can’t be undone, but I have to at least try. We were wrong, and stupid, and cruel, and I’ve wished so many times that I could undo the mistakes I made when I was you. Now here we are, and maybe that means you can do things differently, avoid the mistakes I made.”
“Isn’t it a bad idea to give me information about the future?”
“Maybe, but from my perspective it might be a worse idea not to.” Ianto’s other self shrugged. “There’s no guarantee you’ll believe me anyway.”
Ianto took that in. “Mm, true enough; not sure I believe I’m sitting here talking to myself. So what d’you think we were wrong about?”
“You won’t want to hear this.”
There was something in the visitor’s voice that made Ianto’s heart pound painfully in his chest.
“You’re going to tell me I shouldn’t be trying to save Lisa.” It wasn’t a question.
“No, I’m going to tell you Lisa can’t be saved, no matter what you try. It was already too late for her when we found her, we just didn’t want to accept it.”
“But she’s still there!”
“She’s an echo, a bunch of memories, a fragment of personality trying to hold on for our sake, but she’s losing and she knows it. She keeps trying to tell you but you’re not hearing her. You’re only listening to the other Lisa, the cyber construct that’s gradually taking over what’s left of Lisa’s mind. There’s no undoing what’s already been done; once conversion begins it can’t be reversed. Even if all the components could be removed, all the wires and circuits extracted from her brain, all you’d be left with would be an empty shell.”
“But she remembers!”
“She’s dying, inch by inch, in agony, and when she loses the battle and the cyber programming takes over, it’ll start converting anyone it can get its hands on. Trust me, I know; I was there. I was lucky, only two people lost their lives, but that’s something I have to carry on my conscience for the rest of my life. Let her go, while there’s still enough of Lisa left to say goodbye to. Give her that gift; let her find peace.”
“But I love her! I can’t live without her!”
“Yes you can. I am. I’m with Jack now; he’s helped me move on, but I had to go through hell before I got to where I am now. I’d spare you that part if I can. It wasn’t a pleasant experience; the things I saw, the things I did… I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, least of all myself.” Ianto’s future self locked eyes with him and he couldn’t look away. “Next time Lisa begs you to end her suffering, do it; a simple overdose of painkillers and she’ll slip away peacefully. If you don’t, you’ll be condemning her to another six months of unbearable pain, feeling her mind slowly being erased.”
“I don’t know if I can.” Ianto had never felt smaller or more helpless; his future self was asking too much!
“I don’t know either,” future Ianto replied. “All I can do is tell you what will happen if you don’t; the decision is yours alone.”
Ianto’s other self was starting to look oddly transparent, then he faded out completely and was gone, but Ianto knew what he had to do.
The End
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