the spider near your car keys (
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fandomweekly2016-03-11 11:38 am
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[#006] Hold The Bragging Rights (Fire Emblem Fates)
Theme Prompt: Vainglory
Title: Hold The Bragging Rights
Fandom: Fire Emblem Fates
Rating/Warnings: A bit of swearing
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 449
Summary: Watching Arthur fail constantly was both amusing and tiring.
It was interesting to see if Arthur could break his record of Most Misfortunes To Run Into In An Hour, even if it was kind of sad how often that record ended up being broken. Just this morning his attempt at cooking "a breakfast fit for champions" had nearly totaled the mess hall, followed by the man buried under dirty dishes. He'd tripped twice on the training grounds, fallen into a pit while on his way to buy supplies and been attacked by a bunny of all things.
Niles waited outside the barracks with a small smirk. Arthur was due back any moment now, provided he wasn't carried off by birds or didn't fall into a river. It was amazing the things you could learn about a guy from having to partner up with him in battles.
"Sound the horn! Your hero of justice has returned!" Yeah, soaking wet with fur, grass, and feathers sticking to him and smelling like fish, Niles thought. That had to be five misfortunes all in a single errand, not quite a new record but damn close.
"Maybe I'd better take those bags before you drop them."
"Nonsense! With Lady Justice on my side-"
"She hasn't been on your side since I've known you," Niles said with a roll of his eyes, taking the bags. "Y'know, I wonder if this kind of stuff wouldn't happen to you so much if you'd cut down on the bragging. So far you've claimed to be the almighty protector of the innocent, a spectacular cook, a handy butler and the best person to run errands."
"Well, I am! It's hardly my fault the fates decided to throw a couple tests my way," Arthur insisted. "And look! I've come through them shining with valor and vigor, as usual! Truly, the fates deem me worthy of their many trials!"
Sometimes he missed the days when Arthur thought he was an evil criminal. Being his almost-friend was harder work than keeping up with Odin on one of his more energetic days.
"Just saying, I think Lady Justice might be getting sick of your bragging. Maybe try toning that crap down for a day and see if that makes a difference." It probably wouldn't, Niles thought, but it'd be easier on him.
He carried the damp bags back to the castle, Arthur lumbering along beside him. Miraculously, he managed not to fall over in a heap during their short walk.
Sometimes I can't tell whether this is funny or not. Even a guy like me has to admit when something's just getting sad. Niles shrugged. Still, at least he's got the guts to try to back it up. It'd be more annoying if he kept whining every time he took a spill.
Title: Hold The Bragging Rights
Fandom: Fire Emblem Fates
Rating/Warnings: A bit of swearing
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 449
Summary: Watching Arthur fail constantly was both amusing and tiring.
It was interesting to see if Arthur could break his record of Most Misfortunes To Run Into In An Hour, even if it was kind of sad how often that record ended up being broken. Just this morning his attempt at cooking "a breakfast fit for champions" had nearly totaled the mess hall, followed by the man buried under dirty dishes. He'd tripped twice on the training grounds, fallen into a pit while on his way to buy supplies and been attacked by a bunny of all things.
Niles waited outside the barracks with a small smirk. Arthur was due back any moment now, provided he wasn't carried off by birds or didn't fall into a river. It was amazing the things you could learn about a guy from having to partner up with him in battles.
"Sound the horn! Your hero of justice has returned!" Yeah, soaking wet with fur, grass, and feathers sticking to him and smelling like fish, Niles thought. That had to be five misfortunes all in a single errand, not quite a new record but damn close.
"Maybe I'd better take those bags before you drop them."
"Nonsense! With Lady Justice on my side-"
"She hasn't been on your side since I've known you," Niles said with a roll of his eyes, taking the bags. "Y'know, I wonder if this kind of stuff wouldn't happen to you so much if you'd cut down on the bragging. So far you've claimed to be the almighty protector of the innocent, a spectacular cook, a handy butler and the best person to run errands."
"Well, I am! It's hardly my fault the fates decided to throw a couple tests my way," Arthur insisted. "And look! I've come through them shining with valor and vigor, as usual! Truly, the fates deem me worthy of their many trials!"
Sometimes he missed the days when Arthur thought he was an evil criminal. Being his almost-friend was harder work than keeping up with Odin on one of his more energetic days.
"Just saying, I think Lady Justice might be getting sick of your bragging. Maybe try toning that crap down for a day and see if that makes a difference." It probably wouldn't, Niles thought, but it'd be easier on him.
He carried the damp bags back to the castle, Arthur lumbering along beside him. Miraculously, he managed not to fall over in a heap during their short walk.
Sometimes I can't tell whether this is funny or not. Even a guy like me has to admit when something's just getting sad. Niles shrugged. Still, at least he's got the guts to try to back it up. It'd be more annoying if he kept whining every time he took a spill.
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