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fandomweekly2021-08-09 07:08 pm
friendofthejabberwock) wrote in fandomweekly2021-08-09 07:08 pm
Entry tags:
[#103] I Hear There Are Leopards (Leverage: Redemption)
Theme Prompt: #103 - The Jungle
Title: I Hear There Are Leopards
Fandom: Leverage: Redemption
Rating/Warnings: G
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 591
Summary: Hardison's doings in Sri Lanka include a rain forest trip, and so Breanna is not short on entertainment.
Breanna stared at the face on her laptop screen and pulled her head back in an exaggerated double take. "Are you sure you need all of that? Because..." She waved her hand around at all the electronics, camping gear, and unopened bags in the middle of the Sri Lankan rain forest.
"Look," said Hardison, already sounding peeved, "I am stuck here. I'm in the middle of a jungle. For a week, trying to save the forests from illegal logging or some such nonsense while you all sit at home with your nice, cushy, air-conditioned cons." He wagged a finger. "So you'd better give me a break about my gear, because if you don't I'll—"
"You'll what, squash all my drones via video call?" Breanna was careful to make known exactly how unimpressed she was. "Nice try. So, how's it going out there?" She knew the answer to that question already, of course, but was never going to miss the opportunity for the entertainment.
Hardison positively harrumphed. "It's as humid as it is hot, by which I mean it's absolutely unbearable, the mosquitoes think I'm some kind of delicious, and I hear—" He dropped to a whisper and leaned in. "—there are leopards. I'm not making it out of this in one piece, I can feel it," he moaned.
Breanna did a quick internet search. "Yup, leopards! They're endangered, though, if that helps."
"No, that does not, thank you very much."
"You are most welcome!"
Hardison mumbled something mostly inaudible about little sisters and insufferable.
"So," said Breanna brightly, "how's all your gear holding up?"
This elicited further groans and gesticulations. "The best laptop I brought up and died despite all my waterproof bags, which has been making everything even more godawful around here—this video call, for example! Without my most secure equipment it took me twice as long to hack a military satellite and get a connection, and all you've done so far is enjoy yourself at my expense—if you don't—"
"Right," said Breanna. "Yeah. I'm totally terrified of your consequences." She didn't even bother to pause. "If you weren't so old-school and outdated, you could have just sent up one of my specialized drones. Easy-peasy internet! But no—" She added her snobbiest British accent, just for fun. "—we do things properly around here, of course we do, even if it's terribly inefficient."
"You know what?" Hardison practically squawked. "Shut up. Shut up!"
"Ah," Breanna sighed. "Love you too, brother mine!"
Hardison just shook his head for a long moment, before suddenly freezing. "Did you hear that?"
Breanna cocked her head. "Hear what?"
"That! That..." His eyes widened. "That sounds like a leopard, oh God—"
She rolled her eyes. "Look, as I told you, they're really rare! That's totally not a leopard. You're in a rain forest and it's full of all sorts of animals. You're just jumpy!"
Hardison looked, if possible, still more panicked. "But I heard—"
"Hardison! You're fine!"
He gave her one last look of terror before jumping up and knocking into something that ended the connection in the process. Breanna leaned back and unleashed a much louder sigh this time.
-----
Her phone buzzed not five minutes later.
b!!!
that was a friggin monkey
a MONKEY
dont tell eliot
really dont tell eliot or else you WILL be terrified of my consequences or whatever
i mean it!! do. not.
It took Breanna much, much longer than Hardison probably would have liked to stop laughing.
Oh, but it's so tempting!
Nah. Kidding. Your secrets are safe with me.
Title: I Hear There Are Leopards
Fandom: Leverage: Redemption
Rating/Warnings: G
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 591
Summary: Hardison's doings in Sri Lanka include a rain forest trip, and so Breanna is not short on entertainment.
Breanna stared at the face on her laptop screen and pulled her head back in an exaggerated double take. "Are you sure you need all of that? Because..." She waved her hand around at all the electronics, camping gear, and unopened bags in the middle of the Sri Lankan rain forest.
"Look," said Hardison, already sounding peeved, "I am stuck here. I'm in the middle of a jungle. For a week, trying to save the forests from illegal logging or some such nonsense while you all sit at home with your nice, cushy, air-conditioned cons." He wagged a finger. "So you'd better give me a break about my gear, because if you don't I'll—"
"You'll what, squash all my drones via video call?" Breanna was careful to make known exactly how unimpressed she was. "Nice try. So, how's it going out there?" She knew the answer to that question already, of course, but was never going to miss the opportunity for the entertainment.
Hardison positively harrumphed. "It's as humid as it is hot, by which I mean it's absolutely unbearable, the mosquitoes think I'm some kind of delicious, and I hear—" He dropped to a whisper and leaned in. "—there are leopards. I'm not making it out of this in one piece, I can feel it," he moaned.
Breanna did a quick internet search. "Yup, leopards! They're endangered, though, if that helps."
"No, that does not, thank you very much."
"You are most welcome!"
Hardison mumbled something mostly inaudible about little sisters and insufferable.
"So," said Breanna brightly, "how's all your gear holding up?"
This elicited further groans and gesticulations. "The best laptop I brought up and died despite all my waterproof bags, which has been making everything even more godawful around here—this video call, for example! Without my most secure equipment it took me twice as long to hack a military satellite and get a connection, and all you've done so far is enjoy yourself at my expense—if you don't—"
"Right," said Breanna. "Yeah. I'm totally terrified of your consequences." She didn't even bother to pause. "If you weren't so old-school and outdated, you could have just sent up one of my specialized drones. Easy-peasy internet! But no—" She added her snobbiest British accent, just for fun. "—we do things properly around here, of course we do, even if it's terribly inefficient."
"You know what?" Hardison practically squawked. "Shut up. Shut up!"
"Ah," Breanna sighed. "Love you too, brother mine!"
Hardison just shook his head for a long moment, before suddenly freezing. "Did you hear that?"
Breanna cocked her head. "Hear what?"
"That! That..." His eyes widened. "That sounds like a leopard, oh God—"
She rolled her eyes. "Look, as I told you, they're really rare! That's totally not a leopard. You're in a rain forest and it's full of all sorts of animals. You're just jumpy!"
Hardison looked, if possible, still more panicked. "But I heard—"
"Hardison! You're fine!"
He gave her one last look of terror before jumping up and knocking into something that ended the connection in the process. Breanna leaned back and unleashed a much louder sigh this time.
-----
Her phone buzzed not five minutes later.
b!!!
that was a friggin monkey
a MONKEY
dont tell eliot
really dont tell eliot or else you WILL be terrified of my consequences or whatever
i mean it!! do. not.
It took Breanna much, much longer than Hardison probably would have liked to stop laughing.
Oh, but it's so tempting!
Nah. Kidding. Your secrets are safe with me.
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