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curiosity ([personal profile] curiosity) wrote in [community profile] fandomweekly2021-08-20 02:11 am

[#105] Wrong Ship, Mate. (MDZS)

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Theme Prompt: #105 - Pirates
Title: Wrong Ship, Mate.
Fandom: MDZS
Rating/Warnings: M / Jiang Cheng is pissed. Guns and violence.
Bonus: Yes!
Word Count: 1,000
Summary: Private yacht outing gone wrong ... for the pirates.


Jiang Cheng was asleep. He was dreaming of puppies when Jin Ling shouted for him. It sent him hurtling into action. He was out of his cabin and headed towards the large lounge the kids had claimed when a grimy man wearing tattered shorts and a machine gun appeared in front of him.

Jiang Cheng punched the pirate, knocking him out. He used his spiritual weapon, Zidian, to melt the cheap gun into slag.

“A-Ling,” he shouted. “Use your barrier talisman!”

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling replied, “They have Zizhen!”

He marched into the lounge, cursing Wei Ying in his head. Rent a yacht, he'd said. It would be relaxing, don’t be a grump, he’d said. Now here they were on a glorified dingy in the middle of the ocean being boarded by wannabes with shitty guns.

The two teenage Lans and Jin Ling were backed into a corner, but Jin Ling had gotten his barrier talisman activated so they were protected from the dozen or so gun-wielding criminals. Jiang Cheng cracked his knuckles and looked at the man with one arm around Ouyang Zizhen’s neck.

He had to give props to Zizhen. The fifteen-year-old wasn’t panicking at all. He was waiting patiently and keeping calm.

The kids were getting soup when this was over, Jiang Cheng decided. He was going to make them his sister's family recipe, himself. They were such brave, smart young cultivators.

Jiang Cheng pointed at the pirate. “Let my almost-nephew go,” he ordered. “I won’t ask again.”

“Or what, rich man?” The pirate sneered. “Give up.”

Jiang Cheng unleashed Zidian. The spiritual whip didn’t so much as disturb a hair on Ouyang Zizhen’s head but the pirates were left lashed and broken. It was painfully obvious they had no experience with modern cultivators. Good.

Once all the pirates were down, Jin Ling dropped the barrier and went to the door to stand watch. Lan Sizhui made his way to Ouyang Zizhen and began checking for injuries. But Lan Jingyi bounced over to Jiang Cheng and proceeded to fangirl.

“Mr. Jiang, that was amazing! When you went ‘crackflick' with Zidian and the bad guy went ‘zoomthunk’ into the wall and then that other guy tried to shoot you and the bullets went ‘pop-pop-pop’ when Sandu sliced them and the look on the guy’s face was priceless!” The young boy mimed the actions, thoroughly impressed.

A barrage of gunfire cut off Jiang Cheng’s reply. At once, all four boys looked to him. The rest of his family was out on the deck, Jiang Cheng had to plan. The boys gathered around him.

He gave them his Sandu Shengshou stare. “Boys this lounge is now base. You are going to hold this base. Is that understood? I need it set up for triage and resupply. I need this scum contained. I need a way to disable their boats and I need it all now. Can I trust you four?”

As one they bowed in salute. “Yes, Sandu Shengshou!”

“Try to disable the boats without an explosion. We don’t want to pollute the ocean unnecessarily,” he said. “Get creative. Without explosions,” he repeated for emphasis. “The big first aid kits are in Wei Ying’s cabin and Yanli-jie's cabin. They’re the closest two to this room.”

“Leave it to us, sir!” Jin Ling said confidently. “We know what to do. We’ll be ready for injured and have the area secure in no time.”

Jiang Cheng gave them a solemn nod and patted Jin Ling’s shoulder. “I’m counting on you.”

He left them there. He retrieved his sword, Sandu, as he passed his own cabin and cracked his neck, stretching a bit. This was going to be fun.

From what he could tell, there were still another dozen pirates, based on the different guns and voices he heard. Normally that wouldn’t be much of an obstacle for Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan, even if Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen hadn’t been there. But all four of those men would be extremely reluctant to take risks with Jiang Yanli and Meng Yao in their midst. Especially when Jiang Yanli was pregnant with twins.

Jiang Cheng took a moment to be annoyed that the Wens and the Nies hadn’t been able to come along. His boyfriend, Nie Mingjue, would have loved this opportunity for a fight.

He found Meng Yao first, the small man hiding under a lifeboat, nursing a bleeding shoulder. Jiang Cheng sent him to the lounge after confirming everyone else had been rounded up to the bridge.

“I’m sorry I’m no good in a fight,” Meng Yao murmured, with one of his patented fake smiles.

“Whatever. You can back up the boys. Don't kill the pirates,” Jiang Cheng replied with a glare. “I know you're pissed but don't traumatize the kids."

Meng Yao gave him a very brief, vicious grin before scampering off to safety.

Jiang Cheng shook his head and kept going. After that it was picking off pirates a few at a time until he came to the bridge. Two huge men stood outside the door to the cockpit. One wore Wei Ying’s pride flag like a cape. Jiang Cheng threw Sandu at him and lashed the other with Zidian. They dropped.

“You guys are in deep shit now,” he heard Wei Ying say through the door. “You pissed off my baby brother. He’s cranky when you disturb his naps.”

Jiang Cheng went through the door. A man was holding a knife on Jiang Yanli, then that man didn't have hands anymore. The fight was over rather fast after that.

Once the pirates were incapacitated, the teenagers took charge of Jiang Yanli and Lan Xichen, who’d been shot as warning. Lan Jingyi proudly showed off how he’d managed to transmute the speedboats to stone. Lan Sizhui had adjusted Wei Ying’s binding talisman to secure the pirates. Their triage set up was flawless and they'd already treated the pirates' injuries as practice.

Jiang Cheng rewarded everyone with soup. Then went back to sleep.
badly_knitted: (Jack Laughing)

[personal profile] badly_knitted 2021-08-24 10:14 am (UTC)(link)
Well, those pirates sure picked the wrong boat to attack. What will happen to them now? Is there some form of law enforcement they'll be handed over to? They were lucky to escape with their lives and they won't be causing any more trouble by the sound of it!
badly_knitted: (Jack Laughing)

[personal profile] badly_knitted 2021-08-24 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
*grins* Sort them all out and give them what they deserve, that sounds fair. Although the really bad ones shouldn't get soup. I'm sure they will anyway but maybe they'll feel guilty while eating it, knowing they don't deserve to be treated so well.
badly_knitted: (Jack Laughing)

[personal profile] badly_knitted 2021-08-25 09:29 am (UTC)(link)
Now THAT would be suitable punishment! Or should the be SOUPable? (Sorry, terrible pun).

Do you write for [community profile] fan_flashworks? Because with the Amnesty running and all the old prompts re-opened, the Spicy prompt sounds like it would be tailor-made for Wei Wuxian.
badly_knitted: (Jack - Big Smile)

[personal profile] badly_knitted 2021-08-25 09:49 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not on twitter, but I am on AO3, same name as here.

You should totally check out fan_flashworks. Three challenges every month, Amnesty challenge every 2 months, and you can earn shiny badges to put up on your profile page. Any length of fic is fine, from a haiku to several thousand words. You do have to only post directly to the community until the challenge ends, when you can post elsewhere, but it's a fun place to be, and there's an affiliated social site where I'm one of the mods, trying to inspire members with possible uses of the current prompt.
badly_knitted: (JB Weird)

[personal profile] badly_knitted 2021-08-25 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I know how that feels. I'm way beyond - four weekly challenges, a monthly one, and fan_flashworks, plus a few random bits of writing. It's a miracle I can find time for anything else. Between writing, gardening, and knitting, my schedule is full. =/
badly_knitted: (JB Weird)

[personal profile] badly_knitted 2021-08-26 09:54 am (UTC)(link)
I used to be a very slow writer, but that's changed o_O The Plot Bunnies rule my brain! I have to keep writing or I shudder to think what they might do! Heehee