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fandomweekly2016-04-08 08:55 am
samuraiter) wrote in fandomweekly2016-04-08 08:55 am
Entry tags:
[#010] I Bleed An Adult (Deadpool (2016 Movie))
Theme Prompt: # 010 – Truth Or Dare
Title: I Bleed An Adult
Fandom: Deadpool (2016 Movie)
Rating / Warnings: R – Language, references to smut.
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 850
Summary: This really isn't the best game to play with Deadpool.
* * * *
"Say the magic word, Wade." Vanessa had that look on her face. You know the one. The raised eyebrow. The smile with all her teeth showing. It's very pretty. But she only likes to use it when she's got me in a position that's a little, uh, compromising.
"Which one? This is one of those either-or things." Did I mention we've gotten pretty good at holding normal conversations while I'm tied up? I wish I could say I didn't know where she learned this stuff, but I'm the one who got her the book from Amazon. (Stupid sexy free shipping!) I think I kinda dug my own grave on that one.
"Well, I think the dare's out." She tapped her chin, like she does when she does that 'sexy teacher' role-play. (That skirt. Dynamite.) "Because I'm pretty sure there's not a lot you won't do, especially now that you're ... the way you are." Valid point. "So it's truth time. But I've got to hear you say it." She tightened the ropes juuust a little bit.
"Ow! Well, okay, then. Truth. What's the question?" I kick ass at Jeopardy! ... Okay, I kick ass at Teen Jeopardy! Those questions are a little more Wade Wilson's speed.
"Is it really a Super Penis ™, or were you just pulling my leg?" Oh, that. Here I was thinking she'd be asking me stuff like, say, how many people did I kill while I was looking for Francis? (For the record, I kinda lost track towards the end, there.)
"Only leg I'm pulling here is my third leg, babe. Honest to Elvis." I've never been great at the whole lying thing, and I've gotten even worse at it since my big accident. Er. Incident. You know, the thing with the lab and the fire and my naked ass and all that.
"So what's so super about it? If I'm going on the coaster, I wanna know where all the loops are." Oh, c'mon, babe, it's not that long. ... It totally is, by the way.
"Well, this whole thing where I can get hurt and then jump right back up like it's nothing? Goes for that, too. I don't really get tired any more, and I don't have to wait to get it back up. It's kind of awesome. Really don't know how I got motivated to leave the apartment for more than, like, five minutes at a time." Well, Al kicked me out because she got sick of me jerking off all day, but she always let me come back later.
"So why aren't you doing weird porn or something? You'd make bank." Didn't Weasel bring that up a while back? I hope these two don't compare notes or anything.
"It'd have to be really weird porn. If you think this face is scary, you should see the 'O' face that goes with it." There's a reason I put a Killer Klowns From Outer Space poster over the bathroom mirror. Y'know, next to that work-of-art toilet paper pyramid.
"Uh, Wade, no offense, but me fucking you means I'm going to see it. Do I need to go get a brown paper bag or something before we bump uglies again?"
"I think you'll be okay if you turn the lights off. Maybe. I don't know. Brown-baggin' it might be the way to go." Something about what she said was bugging me. "Maybe we shouldn't call it 'bumping uglies'? Might hurt my widdle feel-good-ums, you know."
"Oh, please. This isn't Tumblr." How'd she know I have a Tumblr? ... Maybe because it says DEADPOOL on it in big letters and has some of my favorite porn pics on it. "I'm kidding about the brown bag thing. I'll be fine." A little laugh. She's still got her sense of humor, even after everything. "All right. My turn. Do I get to pick truth or dare?"
"Well, A, you're not tied up, and B, you didn't let me pick, so ... truth, babe." I'm pretty good at the whole logic thing. For a few seconds at a time. Short attention span.
"Okay, sure. Truth. Ask away." Just to be nice, she loosened the ropes.
"Do you think you'd ever have a threesome with, like, old me and new me at the same time? If there were two Wades?" Because I totally would do that.
"That's never going to happen, but, if it did, yeah, sure. You two'd just have to make sure to go back over the threesome rules." There are threesome rules, just so you know. I have 'em written down on a piece of paper around here somewhere.
"Okay, cool. I'm glad we cleared the air on that one."
"Still early, you know. Wanna go get ice cream or something?"
"Ice cream? Does that mean no licky-licky the sticky-sticky?"
"When we get back, Wade."
"Oh, goody!"
"C'mon, stay still while I let you out."
Did I mention that Vanessa is the best ever? I hope the producers don't do something stupid in the sequel, like kill her and stuff her in the refrigerator or something ....
END.
Title: I Bleed An Adult
Fandom: Deadpool (2016 Movie)
Rating / Warnings: R – Language, references to smut.
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 850
Summary: This really isn't the best game to play with Deadpool.
* * * *
"Say the magic word, Wade." Vanessa had that look on her face. You know the one. The raised eyebrow. The smile with all her teeth showing. It's very pretty. But she only likes to use it when she's got me in a position that's a little, uh, compromising.
"Which one? This is one of those either-or things." Did I mention we've gotten pretty good at holding normal conversations while I'm tied up? I wish I could say I didn't know where she learned this stuff, but I'm the one who got her the book from Amazon. (Stupid sexy free shipping!) I think I kinda dug my own grave on that one.
"Well, I think the dare's out." She tapped her chin, like she does when she does that 'sexy teacher' role-play. (That skirt. Dynamite.) "Because I'm pretty sure there's not a lot you won't do, especially now that you're ... the way you are." Valid point. "So it's truth time. But I've got to hear you say it." She tightened the ropes juuust a little bit.
"Ow! Well, okay, then. Truth. What's the question?" I kick ass at Jeopardy! ... Okay, I kick ass at Teen Jeopardy! Those questions are a little more Wade Wilson's speed.
"Is it really a Super Penis ™, or were you just pulling my leg?" Oh, that. Here I was thinking she'd be asking me stuff like, say, how many people did I kill while I was looking for Francis? (For the record, I kinda lost track towards the end, there.)
"Only leg I'm pulling here is my third leg, babe. Honest to Elvis." I've never been great at the whole lying thing, and I've gotten even worse at it since my big accident. Er. Incident. You know, the thing with the lab and the fire and my naked ass and all that.
"So what's so super about it? If I'm going on the coaster, I wanna know where all the loops are." Oh, c'mon, babe, it's not that long. ... It totally is, by the way.
"Well, this whole thing where I can get hurt and then jump right back up like it's nothing? Goes for that, too. I don't really get tired any more, and I don't have to wait to get it back up. It's kind of awesome. Really don't know how I got motivated to leave the apartment for more than, like, five minutes at a time." Well, Al kicked me out because she got sick of me jerking off all day, but she always let me come back later.
"So why aren't you doing weird porn or something? You'd make bank." Didn't Weasel bring that up a while back? I hope these two don't compare notes or anything.
"It'd have to be really weird porn. If you think this face is scary, you should see the 'O' face that goes with it." There's a reason I put a Killer Klowns From Outer Space poster over the bathroom mirror. Y'know, next to that work-of-art toilet paper pyramid.
"Uh, Wade, no offense, but me fucking you means I'm going to see it. Do I need to go get a brown paper bag or something before we bump uglies again?"
"I think you'll be okay if you turn the lights off. Maybe. I don't know. Brown-baggin' it might be the way to go." Something about what she said was bugging me. "Maybe we shouldn't call it 'bumping uglies'? Might hurt my widdle feel-good-ums, you know."
"Oh, please. This isn't Tumblr." How'd she know I have a Tumblr? ... Maybe because it says DEADPOOL on it in big letters and has some of my favorite porn pics on it. "I'm kidding about the brown bag thing. I'll be fine." A little laugh. She's still got her sense of humor, even after everything. "All right. My turn. Do I get to pick truth or dare?"
"Well, A, you're not tied up, and B, you didn't let me pick, so ... truth, babe." I'm pretty good at the whole logic thing. For a few seconds at a time. Short attention span.
"Okay, sure. Truth. Ask away." Just to be nice, she loosened the ropes.
"Do you think you'd ever have a threesome with, like, old me and new me at the same time? If there were two Wades?" Because I totally would do that.
"That's never going to happen, but, if it did, yeah, sure. You two'd just have to make sure to go back over the threesome rules." There are threesome rules, just so you know. I have 'em written down on a piece of paper around here somewhere.
"Okay, cool. I'm glad we cleared the air on that one."
"Still early, you know. Wanna go get ice cream or something?"
"Ice cream? Does that mean no licky-licky the sticky-sticky?"
"When we get back, Wade."
"Oh, goody!"
"C'mon, stay still while I let you out."
Did I mention that Vanessa is the best ever? I hope the producers don't do something stupid in the sequel, like kill her and stuff her in the refrigerator or something ....
END.
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