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fandomweekly2022-08-01 12:05 am
mxcatmoon) wrote in fandomweekly2022-08-01 12:05 am
Entry tags:
[#145] Undead Existential Angst (Moonlight)
Theme Prompt: #145 - Temptation
Title: Undead Existential Angst
Fandom: Moonlight (TV)
Rating/Warnings: PG
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 833
Summary: A quiet conversation about life and undeath, temptations and time.
Humans are such strange creatures. They want to see everything in black and white, good or bad. They can’t seem to handle the idea of someone evil doing something positive and vice versa. Once someone falls from the lofty pedestal they’ve placed them upon, anything positive that individual has done is rendered null and void. Perhaps they set these people up as iconoclasts, destroying their pretty images of infallible godlike beings.
They also often devolve into that mob mentality out for blood – something vampires know only too well from experience. Once you’ve had to evade a gang intent on turning you into a roman candle, the lesson gets burned into your brain. No pun intended. No matter what acts of selfless heroism those vampires so inclined might perform, most humans will only ever see the monster. But frankly, I think it’s their own reflections they’re seeing. The reality of their sins too much for their fragile psyches to handle. I believe the shrinks call that projection.
Vampires learn about the shades of gray very quickly. If you can’t, you’re lost. Like Mick nearly was. It took all of us and a lot of unnecessary angst to turn him around before he was lost. Most significantly, an amazing woman named Beth refused to let him hide inside his self-loathing and insisted he see himself for what he truly is. He was young, still thinking like a human. We knew that and considered it both a precious, fleeting gift and a liability. Ah yes, more of that gray. Until he accepted himself, only that trait all creatures have in common kept him alive – survival instinct. I don’t like to think about how close it was, and I’m not sure anyone else realizes. Maybe Mick does.
“Would you do it, if you could?” Mick asked as he sat across from me. “I know you’ve said you’d never want to go back to being human, but what if it was temporary? A day, a week? Would you be tempted?”
“What for?” I’ve never been known for resisting temptation, but some things aren’t worth it.
Mick shrugged. “I don’t know, taste a juicy steak, experience the golden glow of the sun on your face as a pleasant sensation instead of pain, sleep in a bed piled high with pillows and blankets.”
“I sleep in a bed when I want.” I shook my head. “C’mon, Mick, you’re beyond this. You know very well the reason you didn’t have a bed had nothing to do with being a vampire and everything to do with keeping intimacy away.”
“Are you saying I had a fear of intimacy?”
“Takes one to know one,” I admitted with a self-depreciating grin. “I found the love of my undead life when he was 600 years old. If not for what we are, he would have been bones rotting in a forgotten grave in Norway centuries before I was born.” I shivered at the image I’d painted myself. “It took us another several centuries to start getting things right. And you. If you were human, you’d probably be in a nursing home right now wearing adult diapers and trying to remember your own name. You’d never know the love you and Beth share.”
I saw him shiver and knew he was feeling the same thing I had. Then his gaze turned teasing. “But you know what – it didn’t take Beth and me hundreds of years. In fact, as I recall, it was less than one….”
Damn. I must be off my game to let Mick get the upper hand on me. “You had a lot of help,” I countered pointedly. “Had to drag you kicking and screaming, as I recall. I wish I’d had a Josef Konstantin to straighten me out,” I added.
Mick threw back his head and laughed. “I don’t even know where to start with that line. Are you going to answer my question? Would you be human for just one day so you could enjoy a Krispy Crème donut?”
“And take the chance of being run over by a car on my way out of the donut shop?” I shook my head. “Never.”
“Now who’s afraid to live?”
“I figured out very quickly that the advantages of being a vampire far outweigh the supposed drawbacks. Food, sunlight, is that the best you’ve got, Mick?”
After a reflective moment, he grinned wryly. “I used to have a lot more examples than that.”
“And now you don’t?” I watched him shrug. “Hallelujah.” I stared into my glass of blood, then looked him in the eye. “There was a time when I was afraid I’d have to watch them take a flame thrower to you.”
Mick acknowledged the truth of that with a nod. “Make no mistake. Beth saved me.”
“And Shane saved me.”
Mick raised his glass, and I joined him in a silent toast to our saviors.
Time is precious, yes, even for vampires. I never take it for granted.
Title: Undead Existential Angst
Fandom: Moonlight (TV)
Rating/Warnings: PG
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 833
Summary: A quiet conversation about life and undeath, temptations and time.
Humans are such strange creatures. They want to see everything in black and white, good or bad. They can’t seem to handle the idea of someone evil doing something positive and vice versa. Once someone falls from the lofty pedestal they’ve placed them upon, anything positive that individual has done is rendered null and void. Perhaps they set these people up as iconoclasts, destroying their pretty images of infallible godlike beings.
They also often devolve into that mob mentality out for blood – something vampires know only too well from experience. Once you’ve had to evade a gang intent on turning you into a roman candle, the lesson gets burned into your brain. No pun intended. No matter what acts of selfless heroism those vampires so inclined might perform, most humans will only ever see the monster. But frankly, I think it’s their own reflections they’re seeing. The reality of their sins too much for their fragile psyches to handle. I believe the shrinks call that projection.
Vampires learn about the shades of gray very quickly. If you can’t, you’re lost. Like Mick nearly was. It took all of us and a lot of unnecessary angst to turn him around before he was lost. Most significantly, an amazing woman named Beth refused to let him hide inside his self-loathing and insisted he see himself for what he truly is. He was young, still thinking like a human. We knew that and considered it both a precious, fleeting gift and a liability. Ah yes, more of that gray. Until he accepted himself, only that trait all creatures have in common kept him alive – survival instinct. I don’t like to think about how close it was, and I’m not sure anyone else realizes. Maybe Mick does.
“Would you do it, if you could?” Mick asked as he sat across from me. “I know you’ve said you’d never want to go back to being human, but what if it was temporary? A day, a week? Would you be tempted?”
“What for?” I’ve never been known for resisting temptation, but some things aren’t worth it.
Mick shrugged. “I don’t know, taste a juicy steak, experience the golden glow of the sun on your face as a pleasant sensation instead of pain, sleep in a bed piled high with pillows and blankets.”
“I sleep in a bed when I want.” I shook my head. “C’mon, Mick, you’re beyond this. You know very well the reason you didn’t have a bed had nothing to do with being a vampire and everything to do with keeping intimacy away.”
“Are you saying I had a fear of intimacy?”
“Takes one to know one,” I admitted with a self-depreciating grin. “I found the love of my undead life when he was 600 years old. If not for what we are, he would have been bones rotting in a forgotten grave in Norway centuries before I was born.” I shivered at the image I’d painted myself. “It took us another several centuries to start getting things right. And you. If you were human, you’d probably be in a nursing home right now wearing adult diapers and trying to remember your own name. You’d never know the love you and Beth share.”
I saw him shiver and knew he was feeling the same thing I had. Then his gaze turned teasing. “But you know what – it didn’t take Beth and me hundreds of years. In fact, as I recall, it was less than one….”
Damn. I must be off my game to let Mick get the upper hand on me. “You had a lot of help,” I countered pointedly. “Had to drag you kicking and screaming, as I recall. I wish I’d had a Josef Konstantin to straighten me out,” I added.
Mick threw back his head and laughed. “I don’t even know where to start with that line. Are you going to answer my question? Would you be human for just one day so you could enjoy a Krispy Crème donut?”
“And take the chance of being run over by a car on my way out of the donut shop?” I shook my head. “Never.”
“Now who’s afraid to live?”
“I figured out very quickly that the advantages of being a vampire far outweigh the supposed drawbacks. Food, sunlight, is that the best you’ve got, Mick?”
After a reflective moment, he grinned wryly. “I used to have a lot more examples than that.”
“And now you don’t?” I watched him shrug. “Hallelujah.” I stared into my glass of blood, then looked him in the eye. “There was a time when I was afraid I’d have to watch them take a flame thrower to you.”
Mick acknowledged the truth of that with a nod. “Make no mistake. Beth saved me.”
“And Shane saved me.”
Mick raised his glass, and I joined him in a silent toast to our saviors.
Time is precious, yes, even for vampires. I never take it for granted.
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I liked that even if it was a serious topic there were moments that made me chuckle.
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Thanks!