[#159] Lost Memories (Stargate SG-1)

[badly_knitted]

Theme Prompt: #159 – Memory
Title: Lost Memories
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Rating/Warnings: PG / None.
Bonus: Yes.
Word Count: 1000
Summary: Arrom remembers nothing of his past, but the strangers claim to know him as Daniel, their friend.



Arrom is confused, which, considering his recent past, shouldn’t be that surprising. He’s reasonably certain that Arrom isn’t the name he was given at birth; it means Naked One and it’s what the people living here in Vis Uban named him after they found him, as naked as the name suggests, lying unconscious in the forest. At the time it had seemed as good a name as any, since he had no memory of anything before that day, but now…

There are new people in the settlement, strangers who claim to have come through the chappa’ai, and they keep calling him Daniel, or Doctor Jackson, but mostly Daniel.

He doesn’t recognise the name, it’s meaningless, and he doesn’t recognise the strangers either, and yet they behave as though they know him and seem to think he should know them. Except that he doesn’t. As far as he knows, he’s never seen them before, and the way they look at him, their eyes pleading for recognition, makes him uncomfortable. Then he feels bad for them, because they want so badly for him to be this Daniel person, and he’s not, he’s just Arrom. Their insistence that they know him better than he knows himself, better than the people who have sheltered him for two moons now, is unsettling.

But what if he is this friend of theirs, this Daniel? He doesn’t remember anything before Khordib and Shamda found him and brought him here to this settlement, gifted him with clothing and this tent, accepted him as one of their own… He has no past, at least not one he has any awareness of. Obviously he must have had a life before this, surely no one could simply appear out of nowhere, fully grown, without having existed somewhere before, but if that’s so, what caused him to forget?

Could these people be right about who he is? He’s tried to remember so many times, and sometimes he thinks he almost has something, but then it’s gone again, like smoke in a breeze, and there’s just the same blank emptiness in his mind that he woke up with. If he really does know these people, why can’t he remember them?

Jim tells him this Daniel died, or ascended to a higher plane of existence, whatever that means. Trying to follow Jim’s explanation makes Arrom’s head hurt; he’s glad when the other man leaves, he needs some peace and quiet to clear his head and calm his thoughts. Perhaps meditation might help, so he lights a candle. But the respite doesn’t last long.

Another of the strangers comes to his tent, the woman, Sam. She doesn’t understand why he doesn’t want to know who he is, and she’s right about one thing; she doesn’t understand. Of course he wants to know, or part of him does, but part of him is less sure, perhaps even scared of what he might learn. Living here is easy. No one expects much of him, nobody demands that he be anyone but Arrom. That’s all he knows how to be.

If he truly is this Daniel, what if Sam and the others tell him about himself and he doesn’t like the person he used to be? What if he doesn’t want to be Daniel anymore? What if he’d rather just be Arrom?

On the other hand, if these people care so much about him that they travelled a long way to find him, maybe he wasn’t such a bad person. In fact the more he hears, the more he feels that this Daniel person would be a lot to live up to. Does he have that in him? He doesn’t think so. Perhaps Daniel’s friends are remembering him wrong, perhaps he was never as brilliant and selfless as they thought.

He sits alone in his tent for a long time, thinking, trying to remember, trying to decide what to do. Sam wants him to go back with them to… wherever it is they come from. She seems to think that showing him who he used to be instead of just telling him might help him get his memory back. Perhaps she’s right. Of course, that’s assuming he really is this Daniel and not just someone who happens to look a lot like their friend.

But what does he have to lose? If they’re wrong, they’ll surely let him return here, but if they’re right, perhaps the fog clouding his mind will clear… So he goes with them, through the chappa’ai, to another world, a place filled with more people who seem to know him, people he has no memory of. Now he’s the stranger, or at least feels like one.

A woman hands him something, a pair of glasses, and he doesn’t understand how he can know that, but he puts them on. His mind is still a blur, but suddenly his vision is clearer than he ever remembers it being. Not that it helps; he still doesn’t recognise anyone.

Daniel follows Jack to a room full of things that apparently belong to him. It’s a confusing array, among which there’s a picture of a woman, and although he doesn’t remember her, Daniel thinks he must know her; why else would he have her picture?

Jack leaves him alone to rest; he’s grateful for that, he has so much to think about. Tired, he lays down on the bed, falls asleep, and dreams of the woman in the picture. When he wakes, he knows her name. Sha-re. Excited, he has to tell someone, but it’s late. Everyone’s asleep, except for Teal’c.

“If I can remember a name, then there's a chance it's all in there somewhere, right? It’s just a memory, one single, tiny thing, but where there’s one there must be more.”

All Teal’c says is, “Indeed.” He’s a man of few words, but Daniel likes that. Of all his friends, Teal’c is the most restful to be around. Daniel sits. He has a lot of questions.


The End