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fandomweekly2026-05-10 11:51 am
shivver) wrote in fandomweekly2026-05-10 11:51 am
Entry tags:
[#300] Masters and Ceremonies (Original)
Theme Prompt: #300 – Ceremony
Title: Masters and Ceremonies
Fandom: Original
Rating/Warnings: None
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 464
Summary: A software development team's reaction to new Agile processes and ceremonies
Mike dashed into the room and slid into the chair across the conference table from Amanda. “I’m not late, am I?”
“Nope.” Chris jerked his head toward the empty head of the table and the widescreen television mounted on the wall behind it. “Don’s not even here yet.”
“Good.” Flopping forward onto the table, he took a moment to catch his breath. “Couldn’t find a parking space. And this is the refinement meeting, isn’t it?”
“Refinement ceremony.” Amanda rolled her eyes as she emphasized the second word.
Chris snorted. “Right. Gotta use the new words. ‘Ceremony’, not ‘meeting’.”
“But why ‘ceremony’?” asked Mike. “It’s such an odd word for a software meeting.”
“Something about it being a standard word in Agile,” said Amanda. “It’s supposed to make you feel like it’s something you know how to do and you know why you’re doing it, and you’re doing it at the same time every week. It’s supposed to make you feel comfortable.”
Mike sat back up and shrugged. “It makes me feel like I’m going to church. Not exactly comfortable.”
“Me, too,” said Chris, “but we have to use it. Don said so, and he’s scrum master, so…”
“That’s another one,” said Mike. “I don’t like having a ‘master’.”
“Shush!” warned Amanda.
As Don strode in, plopped into the head chair, and attached his laptop to the presentation screen, the other three watched him with apprehension. Mike folded his hands in his lap, his fingers wringing each other.
“All right,” Don said when he was ready. “Let’s begin. Since we’re implementing new processes here, we’re going to start with a basic Agile meeting structure to see how it goes, then over the next few months, adjust things for the dynamics of this– Wait.” He scanned the room. “There’s four devs on our team. Where’s Rick?”
A figure covered from head to toe in a full-length capuchin, complete with a voluminous hood, entered the room holding a heavy leather tome with gold cornerpieces in front of him. With his first measured step, he chanted, “Pie Iesu Domine,” and smacked himself in the forehead with the book. With his second step, he chanted, “Dona eis requiem,” and hit himself again.
Mike flopped back onto the table and buried his face in his crossed arms. Amanda plastered her hand over her mouth, swallowing and clearing her throat multiple times. Chris simply fell out of his chair and laid on the floor, laughing.
The cloaked figure continued into the room, repeating the two phrases and the knock on the head until he reached his seat. He placed the book squarely in front of himself on the table, then lowered his hood. “Sorry I’m late,” said Rick.
Don glowered at him. “Someone is not taking our work seriously, I see.”
Title: Masters and Ceremonies
Fandom: Original
Rating/Warnings: None
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 464
Summary: A software development team's reaction to new Agile processes and ceremonies
Mike dashed into the room and slid into the chair across the conference table from Amanda. “I’m not late, am I?”
“Nope.” Chris jerked his head toward the empty head of the table and the widescreen television mounted on the wall behind it. “Don’s not even here yet.”
“Good.” Flopping forward onto the table, he took a moment to catch his breath. “Couldn’t find a parking space. And this is the refinement meeting, isn’t it?”
“Refinement ceremony.” Amanda rolled her eyes as she emphasized the second word.
Chris snorted. “Right. Gotta use the new words. ‘Ceremony’, not ‘meeting’.”
“But why ‘ceremony’?” asked Mike. “It’s such an odd word for a software meeting.”
“Something about it being a standard word in Agile,” said Amanda. “It’s supposed to make you feel like it’s something you know how to do and you know why you’re doing it, and you’re doing it at the same time every week. It’s supposed to make you feel comfortable.”
Mike sat back up and shrugged. “It makes me feel like I’m going to church. Not exactly comfortable.”
“Me, too,” said Chris, “but we have to use it. Don said so, and he’s scrum master, so…”
“That’s another one,” said Mike. “I don’t like having a ‘master’.”
“Shush!” warned Amanda.
As Don strode in, plopped into the head chair, and attached his laptop to the presentation screen, the other three watched him with apprehension. Mike folded his hands in his lap, his fingers wringing each other.
“All right,” Don said when he was ready. “Let’s begin. Since we’re implementing new processes here, we’re going to start with a basic Agile meeting structure to see how it goes, then over the next few months, adjust things for the dynamics of this– Wait.” He scanned the room. “There’s four devs on our team. Where’s Rick?”
A figure covered from head to toe in a full-length capuchin, complete with a voluminous hood, entered the room holding a heavy leather tome with gold cornerpieces in front of him. With his first measured step, he chanted, “Pie Iesu Domine,” and smacked himself in the forehead with the book. With his second step, he chanted, “Dona eis requiem,” and hit himself again.
Mike flopped back onto the table and buried his face in his crossed arms. Amanda plastered her hand over her mouth, swallowing and clearing her throat multiple times. Chris simply fell out of his chair and laid on the floor, laughing.
The cloaked figure continued into the room, repeating the two phrases and the knock on the head until he reached his seat. He placed the book squarely in front of himself on the table, then lowered his hood. “Sorry I’m late,” said Rick.
Don glowered at him. “Someone is not taking our work seriously, I see.”