fandomweekly | [#157] Happiness Is A Cute Kitten (Torchwood)

Theme Prompt: #157 – Quiet Night
Title: Happiness Is A Cute Kitten
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating/Warnings: PG / None
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 1000
Summary: The team are all adjusting to life with their new pets.

“It’s only been a week, and I’ve already forgotten what life was like B.K.,” Jack murmured, sprawled haphazardly on one of the sofas. The TV was on, a game show of some kind because Ianto enjoyed giving the correct answers ahead of the contestants’ guesses, but neither man was paying any attention to it.

“B.K.?” Ianto enquired, tearing his gaze away from the action to spare his lover the briefest glance.

“Before Kittens,” Jack replied.

“Ah. Of course.” Ianto twitched the string he was holding, making the crumpled piece of paper tied to its other end jerk across the floor. Two bundles of fluff, otherwise known as Hobnob and Kitty Galore, because Ianto had decided his original idea might be construed by some, namely Owen, as a bit too adult in nature, immediately went into fierce hunter mode, pouncing and, predictably, missing. Their eye/paw coordination wasn’t quite there yet, but both kittens were working diligently at it, with the willing help of their humans.

Jack flicked his own string and Hobnob whirled so fast she fell over sideways, immediately pretending she’d meant to do that, turning her attention to washing her tummy. Her little tail twitched across the carpet and Kitty Galore pounced, savagely biting the charcoal grey appendage.

Hobnob took offence to that, swatting with a paw, and the two kittens went rolling across the floor, hissing and spitting in a way that, to the humans at least, was adorably cute rather than ferocious.

“I can’t believe how cute they are!” Jack gushed as the kitten tumbleweed fetched up against the TV stand. Hobnob disentangled herself and stalked away with all the dignity a tiny kitten could muster, while Kitty Galore investigated the TV stand as if she’d never seen it before, prodding it tentatively with a fluffy white paw.

“It’s a fiendish plan devised by cat kind,” Ianto intoned. “They’re taking over the world through cuteness. No one is safe, not even the world’s foremost alien hunting organisation. And to think I helped them infiltrate our secret base, not to mention our homes! I played right into their paws.” He was lying on the living room floor, barefoot and dressed in shabby jeans and an old Blue Gillespie t-shirt.

“And you’re supposed to know everything!” Jack tutted good-naturedly. “For shame, Mister Jones!”

“I know! It’s terrible of me. On the other hand, the stealthy invasion has been going on for thousands of years, and most people don’t seem to mind being ruled by their cats. You’d have done the same if you’d been the one to find them.”

“I would,” Jack agreed. “Only I wouldn’t have shared them with the rest of the team. I would’ve kept them all for myself.”

“What, you wouldn’t even have given me one?” Ianto was incensed.

“Well, okay, I would’ve shared them with you.”

“I should think so. Only crazy cat ladies need five cats all for themselves. One each should be quite sufficient; that way everyone gets enough attention.”

OoOoOoO

Across town…

“Oi!” Gwen complained. “You’re hogging my kitten again!”

“Your kitten? I thought Frodo was ours. Not my fault he prefers my lap to yours. I’ve just got more padding.” Rhys and Gwen were relaxing on the sofa, watching Wife Swap and enjoying a rare quiet night in with their new pet.

“Well, only because I said I’d share him with you. Ianto gave him to me.”

“Mm, not sure how I should feel about another man givin’ you kittens.”

“Just the one kitten,” Gwen pointed out. “And he gave one to everyone, so it’s not like I got special treatment.”

“Shame he didn’t have an extra one, then we could’ve had one each and maybe you wouldn’t say I was hogging yours.”

Gwen snuggled closer to her husband. “With my luck, if we had two they’d both prefer your lap.”

Rhys wrapped his arm around her. “You can have me all to yourself at bedtime.”

“I know, but right now I’d rather have the kitten.”

Rhys laughed.

OoOoOoO

“Tiptoes!” Tosh protested as her kitten pounced on her fingers. “You’re messing up my program! How am I supposed to work with a kitten on my keyboard?” She lifted the black kitten back onto the sofa beside her, but moments later, Tiptoes was back, getting in the way again. Tosh sighed, quickly saving her work. “You are a nuisance.”

The kitten mewed, looking up at her with emerald green eyes, and Tosh sighed again.

“Well, Jack’s always saying I work too hard. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to take the evening off.” Shutting down her laptop, Tosh set it aside and picked up a length of ribbon that she’d dug out from the back of a drawer, trailing it across the sofa and onto the floor. The kitten launched herself off the seat, tumbled end over end as Tosh gasped in alarm, and pounced on the ribbon, grabbing the end and rolling onto her back, hind legs clawing at her prize as Tosh gave in to giggles of delight at her new pet’s antics.

OoOoOoO

“I get beer and pizza, you get water and kitten food,” Owen said firmly. “I researched it online; pizza’s no good for kittens.”

Minion looked up at him with startlingly green eyes. His markings made it look like the ginger kitten was frowning, and he was staring so intently he’d gone a bit cross-eyed.

“If you’re not careful your eyes might stick like that.” Marching over to the sofa with his dinner, Owen flopped down to eat. One bare foot reached for an old Ping-Pong ball, and he shoved it so it rolled across the floor, rebounding off the wall, kitten in hot pursuit. “Nutter! Careful you don’t brain yourself!” He washed down a bite of pizza with a swig of beer, his eyes following the antics of the mad ginger whirlwind.

Friday nights were usually about getting smashed and getting laid. He’d had tons of birds over the years. Never had a kitten though.

The ladies would keep.

The End

[#157] Happiness Is A Cute Kitten (Torchwood)

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